The Crush

“Home? He’s not coming home. And you can decide whether you want to go with him or come home with me. Because you can’t have it both ways.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” she cried.

“I’m not kidding in the least.” He glared at me. “You can come tomorrow when I’m at work and pack up all your shit.”

Nathan said nothing else as he got back into his car and sped away, tires spinning in the wet gravel as he pulled out.

We continued to stand in the rain, both of us in shock. As I pulled Farrah into my arms, I felt helpless. Quickly, I ushered her back into my truck. We were both soaked.

This moment was my biggest nightmare: Farrah having to make a choice between her brother and me. Moreover, I knew it wasn’t a choice. She would choose me, if I let her. If I took her with me tonight, things might never be the same between them. I wasn’t sure I could live with that guilt. I already blamed myself for their parents’ death, and now I was going to rip apart their family in another way?

Kissing her forehead softly, I said, “I’ll drive you to your car. Then I’ll go to my parents’. He needs some time to cool down, but if you leave with me tonight, this situation will get ten times worse.”

She looked conflicted. “Okay…maybe you’re right.”

I was relieved she didn’t fight me on it.

“Maybe in the morning he will have calmed down a little, but I can’t go back there with you tonight.”

“I’m so sorry this happened.” A tear fell down her cheek.

I wiped it away. “Me too, baby. Me too.”

The ride back to the house was eerily quiet. My guilt felt suffocating. What I’d done clearly hadn’t hit Farrah yet. When the shock faded and it finally did, things would get ugly.

Chapter 17

* * *

Farrah

Almost a week went by before I saw Jace again. He had come to the house to get all of his things the day after Nathan caught us, but he’d done it while we were both at work. He’d called to check on me a few times, but that was the extent of it. He said it was best to stay away from each other for a while. This felt like a nightmare.

At first, I’d just assumed he was avoiding Nathan, but with each day that passed, I worried he was also avoiding me. I didn’t want to lose my brother, but the fear of losing Jace trumped all.

In our numerous arguments over the past week, Nathan had made it clear that he wasn’t backing down about Jace’s betrayal. Not only could he not forgive Jace for dating me, but he’d opened a major old wound. That explained so much about why the robbery was always so difficult for them to talk about. But even with the knowledge that Jace might have caused the gunman to shoot, I couldn’t blame him for everything. And I didn’t understand how Nathan could. It made me sad that Jace had been living with that guilt all this time. I worried that he’d spent the past week beating himself up about what happened all over again. I was worried for us—but I was more worried for him.

When I got out of work Friday afternoon, my prayers were finally answered. Jace’s truck was parked outside my office building.

Finally.

He got out and shut the door before walking over to me.

I expected him to reach out and kiss me, but he didn’t. An unsettled feeling developed in my stomach.

“Can we take a walk?” he asked.

Something in his voice made my heart sink. Hope turned to dread pretty fast. We walked down the block, past a row of stores, and then around the corner to a residential neighborhood.

“I can understand why you haven’t come around Nathan, but why have you been avoiding me?” I asked.

“I needed time to think—not just about what I want, but more importantly, about what’s best for you. Those two things are unfortunately not one and the same.” He stopped walking for a moment and looked into my eyes. “I had no right to keep that information about what really happened the day your parents died from you. I allowed you to fall in love with me without divulging something you had every right to know—something that quite frankly should have changed your opinion about me.”

“Why? Why should it have changed my opinion? You were acting in self-defense. You thought you were doing the right thing. How could I blame you for that?”

“Farrah, there’s a very good chance that the choice I made led to the outcome. Don’t you see that?” He looked up at the sky, then back at me. “You might not blame me now, but when this love fog you’re in subsides, it will eventually hit you. You’ll wake up one day, look at me, and see nothing but the man partially responsible for your entire world being taken away.”