The Crush

She smiled. “You will.”

My thoughts veered to what Jace had told me about thinking that little girl outside of my old house might have been ours. I wondered for a moment what life would be like if that had been true. I wondered a lot of things as I fell into a daydream. Was Jace reconciling with his ex back in Charlotte? Furthermore, why did I care so damn much?

On the ride home, U2’s “So Cruel” played on the radio. I listened to the words, and it made me wonder if being so cold to Jace since he came back had finally driven him away.

• • •

As the days wore on, I became obsessed with the idea of Jace never returning to Palm Creek. I managed to act as normally as possible around Niles, but he wasn’t happy with me, because I’d yet to commit to going to North Carolina with him for Christmas.

One Friday night, he was particularly miffed because I’d told him I was too tired to hang out. That was the truth. I had a night off from work, and I just wanted to chill at home.

Nathan and I were watching TV when the sound of a car pulling into the driveway brought my attention to the window.

“Who’s here?” I asked as I stood up.

“I don’t know. I’m not expecting anyone.”

It was an all-too-familiar black truck.

My heart began to race.

He’s back.

I opened the door before Jace had a chance to knock.

He wore a black leather jacket and smelled like sandalwood. The Christmas lights adorning the front of the house sparkled in his gorgeous eyes.

I got choked up. “You’re…here.”

“I am.” He searched my eyes, undoubtedly noticing something I’d hoped he wouldn’t.

But it’s too late.

Jace took a few steps inside the house, then reached out and gently wiped the tear that had fallen from my eye.

“Good to see you, man,” Nathan called as he stood up from the couch. “You know, I’m craving a calzone from Berretti’s. I have a half hour before they close at nine. Either of you want anything?”

“No, thanks,” Jace said, never taking his eyes off me.

“I’ll be back, okay?” Nathan limped past Jace, out of the house.

Silence filled the room.

“Why are you crying?” he asked.

“I just…” My voice trembled. “I didn’t think you were coming back.”

Without hesitation, he pulled me into his arms, enveloping me in his warmth. I resisted for a moment, but it felt like…home. Feeling his heart beat against my cheek caused me to break down. I let everything out—everything I’d been keeping inside for the past three years. I’d tried so hard not to feel anything, but right now I failed miserably. In this moment, I felt everything. Every moment of longing, every skipped heartbeat, every iota of pain…and love seemed to hit me all at once.

He whispered over my hair. “It feels so damn good to hold you.”

I moved back to look at him. “I couldn’t imagine why you left so abruptly. I thought you’d changed your mind about staying.”

Jace wrapped his hands around my face. “I told you I was moving back here. How did you think I was gonna get all my stuff? I had to bring it back somehow.”

Feeling stupid, I wiped my eyes and laughed. “I don’t know. I never thought about it.”

“Clearly.” He pinched my cheek lightly. “I had a lot of loose ends to tie up.”

I swallowed. “Did you see Kaia?”

“I had to formally end things with her, yeah. She’d already broken up with me, but I needed to talk to her and properly close that relationship—apologize to her.”

“How did she take it?”

“She said she knew she’d made the right decision once I let her leave Florida so easily after Mom died. She’s accepted for some time that it was over, so it was no surprise to hear me confirm I wasn’t coming back.”

“Well, I’m sorry…for her. I know how it feels.”

He nodded. “I know you do.” He looked down at his shoes. “Fuck.”

Wiping my eyes, I said, “I’m pissed that I couldn’t control my emotions tonight.”

He shook his head. “I’m not. It’s allowed me to see how you really feel.” He leaned in. “You know…I was thinking about you the entire drive here. I know you’re with someone, but I couldn’t help feeling like every mile closer to you I was closer to where I’m supposed to be. It’s kind of messed up that even if I can’t be with you, I still want to be where you are. At least here I know I can protect you.” He placed his hand on my chin. “Look at me.” He brought my eyes to his. “I will never leave you again. Do you understand?”

Just then, a banging on the window startled me. It stopped and then started up again even harder.

Niles’s voice came through the glass. “You’re a fucking liar!”