I looked at the positive test and knew that I should. I didn't have a clue how, though. It was the right thing to do, even if it would be terrible. I stood up and washed my hands.
“Oh, hi Jacob. I know that you're a lying POS, but you now have a baby,” I said cheerfully to the mirror. “Yeah, that's going to go over well.”
I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to think. How in the world was I going to tell him? The last person on the entire planet I wanted to talk to was now the person I had to tell something very important to and I didn't know how to do it.
“I can't tell him right now,” I whispered. Not after that fight. I still didn't even want to think his name, let alone think of having a conversation. It just wasn't something I was ready to do.
“I'll tell him after it's confirmed by the doctor,” I told the mirror. Mirror me did not look impressed.
I would call the doctor in the morning and set up an appointment. After that, I would tell Jacob. I knew that there was still a possibility that this was a false pregnancy, or that I could lose the baby, so I didn't want to tell him too early.
“You just don't want to tell him at all, and you’re using that as an excuse,” Mirror me said. I stuck my tongue out at her. Still, I needed a little bit of time and waiting for the official word from the doctor seemed like it was the best idea.
I took a deep breath and tried not to panic.
“You okay in there?” Lauren called through the door.
“Fine,” I lied. “Just finishing up.”
“Okay, I just need to take a shower before bed,” Lauren replied. I listened to her footsteps head off into her room.
I snapped a picture of the pregnancy test on my phone and then wrapped it in toilet paper and tossed it in the trash. I thought about leaving it, but the idea that somehow Lauren would find it made me too nervous. I grabbed the bag and took it to the outside garbage.
The night sky was peaceful as I walked to the communal garbage. In the distance a dog barked and I could hear a jet plane overhead, but overall, it was a quiet and soothing night. I looked up at the sky, wishing I could see just a few more stars to make a wish on.
I had wished on stars for my job at ZephTech, and that had come true. Maybe, I could wish for everything to turn out right and that would happen too.
I paused, sending up a grateful thank you to the stars for giving me my job at ZephTech. For the first time since accepting the position, I was glad. The salary would be enough to support me and the baby, and as a full-time employee I had excellent health insurance. Because of the job, I wouldn't have to ask Jacob to help with the baby.
I smiled at the stars. The universe was telling me that I had made the right decision. It was putting me where I needed to be. Things were going to work out the way they were supposed to.
I was going to make it. I was proud of myself. I didn't need his help or his love. I was strong enough to do this.
Granted, Jacob could pay for a dozen nannies and a private hospital since he was apparently a billionaire, but I didn't want to ask him for a cent. I wanted nothing to do with him, even if it would make my life easier.
He can spend his money on the baby, I told myself. I don't want any of his dirty money.
I pushed away the small voice saying that it would be easier to do this with him. That I still loved him. I pushed away the voice that asked if I really could do this. The job was so demanding that I was barely making it while pregnant and I wasn't sure what I would do once the child was born.
One step at a time, I told myself. One step at a time.
I would keep my job until something better came along. Once the baby was born, I could move back home and ask my parents for help. I could work from home and I would have the support of my family. Until then, I would just save as much of my giant paycheck as I possibly could.
It felt good to have a plan.
Bing.
A new email popped up on my phone. The subject line was about a new job opportunity. At first, my instinct was to ignore the email. Now that I had won the ZephTech internship, I was receiving job interviews that would have made me scream for joy seven weeks ago. But, there was something about this one that caught my eye. I recognized the company as one that made some of my favorite games.
Dear Alicia Chambers,
As the winner of the ZephTech internship, we would like to invite you to interview for a brand new position at our new off shoot company, DragonFury Gaming.
We've seen great success in the past year and are in need of a new development programmer. We believe that your creative skills and passion for programming would be the perfect fit for our company.
The details of the position are below. Please call to schedule an interview.
I quickly scanned the email and my breath caught. It was a game development company that was branching off of one of my favorite gaming systems. I could barely believe my eyes. The more I read, the more it sounded like what I wanted the ZephTech position to be.