“Yeah, you’re getting there. I wouldn’t want you suspending anyone without some supervision yet, but you’re good with floor work, and Rocco prefers that anyway.”
I look back and forth between Casey and Cree. I’m supposed to answer a qu
estion. What’s the question?
“Rocco? Will you let me tie you?”
Oh, yeah. That.
My throat constricts, and I can barely breathe.
Chapter 2—Casey
My body is beginning to ache with the exertion of keeping myself still as I wait for Rocco to respond. If I were to relax even a little, I’m sure I would begin to shake.
I don’t take rejection easily—never have. Cree warned me to be careful with Rocco, as if I didn’t know he has some issues. I do know. I don’t understand the details, but I know he’s a mess. I’m quite familiar with being a mess, so that doesn’t deter me in the slightest. I want this. I really, really want it, and I have no idea how I’m going to react if he says no.
For a brief moment, I reflect on the first time I saw Rocco.
It was at the end of last semester. I’d been on hiatus from the dungeon for over a year as I tried to fulfill the Domme half of an intense, power exchange relationship. Despite his natural submissiveness, Justin had been a forceful and demanding partner. Nothing I ever did was enough for him, and it began to wear on me as well as affect my studies. I had been a regular dungeon girl before Justin, but he wanted nothing to do with that crowd.
Rocco was already at Gym when I came in, but I didn’t notice him until later. Cree had him in a back corner, away from everyone else. At first, I only noticed a ball of flesh and rope on the floor. When they finished, and Rocco stood up, I saw a tall guy with a gorgeous, lanky form, silky, long hair braided behind his neck, and the most intensely sad eyes I had ever seen. I wanted him instantly even before I noticed the bulge beneath the tight shorts he was wearing.
A very significant bulge.
I watched him for weeks, both in and out of the dungeon. Aside from his relationship with Cree, I never saw him with anyone else. I also never saw him engage in any kind of play other than rope, and I knew nothing about rope at the time.
So I learned.
The learning curve for rope work, shibari in particular, is a steep one. The basics come pretty quickly, but the intuition behind the skills of someone like Cree isn’t something I could just pick up by figuring out which knots went where on a Take-Kote harness. Cree has finesse. Cree has charisma. Cree has a line of rope bottoms begging to have him tie them up.
I worked on a mannequin.
For months I went to the rope-centered Special Interest Groups held regularly at Power Exchange but usually ended up having to practice on myself. Most of the people attending the SIGs came with a partner, and though the instructor would pair up with me on occasion, I was basically on my own to figure it out. Every once in a while, Cree would throw me a bone and get someone to let me use them as a model, but that made me feel like a charity case. It was always a chick, and I don’t tend to get along well with other women.
The best instruction I received was quietly watching Cree tie Rocco. I’d place myself where I wouldn’t easily be seen and tried to memorize Cree’s movements and techniques. Later, I’d go home and practice on the mannequin.
Finally, I felt like I was ready to approach Cree about tying Rocco. I knew I had to be a little more delicate than I usually come off, but I thought I could handle that. At first, I wasn’t sure Cree would negotiate for me, but when I saw him with that new girl, I knew it was time to take a chance. When he told me that Rocco had accepted the invitation to discuss my proposal, I was completely thrilled.
Now I’m here—with Rocco—and he still hasn’t answered the question.
I’m beyond frustrated.
At the moment, Rocco seems to be more focused on breathing than actually answering my question, and I give Cree a sharp look. I’m not sure if I should ask again or just be patient, and I could use some direction.
Cree leans against the wall, crosses his arms, and gives me a slight shrug. His casualness makes me want to punch a wall. He glances at his watch and then at Rocco.
“Rocco, this is totally up to you,” Cree says after the silence lasts a bit too long. “You can say no. Casey isn’t going to be mad if you do.”
Cree glances at me, giving me a hard look. I will be mad, and Cree knows it. I wouldn’t take it out on anyone else, but hell yeah, I’d be mad—mad, disappointed, hurt...rejected.
My throat starts to seize up.
Rocco turns his head to look at Cree, then looks at me for a moment before he drops his gaze back to the floor.
“I don’t know.”
I close my eyes for a moment, trying to reel in the tension and keep my cool.