Tainted Heartbreak (Tainted Knights 3)

Fresh tears stung my eyes. One spilled down my cheek, but I was too exhausted to wipe it away. “You didn’t have to come. I know how important tomorrow was to you. Your mom could have expanded to New York. She was going to give you LA.”

“I told you, you’re more important to me than anything. Mom knows that and understood when I told her I had to be here for you.” She grimaced. “She sends her love, by the way.”

“Lin didn’t come, did she?” But I knew the answer before she even opened her mouth.

“I’m sorry, babe. Her dad wouldn’t let her come. You know how he is, and with your falling out with Malcolm…” She trailed off, but I knew what she would have said.

Lindsey’s dad was friendly with Malcolm. He wasn’t going to pay for his daughter to run after me and hold my hand for any reason, including the death of my father. Hell, it was a wonder he hadn’t made her move out yet. It wasn’t like I was important now. With me tossing everything aside for my own happiness, I was no longer close to Malcolm, so I was no longer useful.

I shrugged. “It’s fine. I understand and knew she wouldn’t. Lin loves me, but she would never go against her parents.”

“But you’re her best friend,” Riley argued, upset for me. “She should be here for you, damn it!”

I hugged her close. “But you are my best friend, and that’s all that matters. Right?”

“Yeah,” she sniffled, her arms going around my middle, separating me from Cash slightly. “That’s all that will ever matter.”

With the two people I loved the most right there holding me, I found myself falling back to sleep easily despite the ache that felt like it was pressing painfully against my ribs. Thankfully, dreams eluded me, and I slept peacefully.

The sound of Cash’s deep voice rumbling under my ear woke me. Opening my eyes, I realized I’d turned in my sleep until I was lying mostly on top of him. Riley was still where she’d been when we fell asleep. She was the type that, once she was asleep, didn’t move again until she was ready to get up, whereas I tossed and turned all night long.

Cash’s hands were rubbing up and down my spine through my sleep shirt while he and Riley talked quietly.

“The news said they found the bodies,” Riley whispered.

Nausea lifted into my throat, and I whimpered as I jumped out of bed and ran for the bathroom across the hall. I heard running feet pounding the floor behind me, but my focus was in keeping my head in the toilet as I puked up what little food I’d eaten the day before.

My hair was pulled back from my face, and a cool, damp cloth was touched to the back of my neck as my stomach heaved over and over again. Sweat beaded on my brow and between my shoulders as my body fought against the convulsions.

“I’m so sorry, Mar,” Riley groaned as she crouched down beside me while Cash continued to hold my hair for me. “I thought you were still asleep.”

I could only make a small little whimpering sound as I threw up again. It seemed to take forever before my stomach calmed down enough that I could breathe again. I felt like pure shit, not just emotionally, but physically as well. My body was weak, my heart aching, and my stomach rolled like I was on a boat in the middle of a freaking typhoon.

Cash helped me stand. Holding most of my weight, he pressed a cup of water to my lips so I could rinse out my mouth. Riley went to my room and returned with my toothbrush and toothpaste. I did a quick brush, but I felt dizzy by the time I was done.

Wordlessly, Cash carried me back to my bed and tucked me in. “Riley’s going to take care of you while I take a quick shower. Then I’m going to go to the store and get you some ginger ale and whatever else Jane might need.”

Tears poured from the corners of my eyes as I grasped his hand and held on tight. “Cash?” I whispered, my heart aching with loss and love all at the same time.

He sat down beside me, his eyes glazed with emotions I didn’t have the energy to decipher right then. “What is it, Dreamer?”

“I…” My throat closed up, making it impossible for me to voice the words that were echoing through my head.

He kissed the corner of my mouth, then my jaw before touching his lips to the shell of my ear. “I know, baby. It’s the same for me,” he told me in a choked voice. “Hold tight. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

I watched through my tears as he grabbed a change of clothes out of the bag Riley had brought for us and left the bedroom. My best friend crawled into bed beside me as the door closed behind him. “Mar, that guy loves you so much,” she whispered. “I know I’ve rolled my eyes at you and him, and how fast everything has happened. But I can see it radiating off him like a freaking aura.”

“I love him too,” I whispered back through a tight throat. “He’s been my strength since the moment I called him yesterday. I-I don’t know what I would have done without him.”

“I think he’s a keeper, babe.”

--

By the time I felt like I could get out of bed under my own steam—without painting the house a lovely shade of vomit—it was late afternoon, but my nausea lingered for days. I knew I had to be strong for Jane and my brothers, however, so I pushed through it.

Jane was still in bed, as were the boys. I knocked on my stepmom’s door and heard a choked sob. Instantly, tears filled my already swollen eyes. I didn’t wait for her to invite me in. Opening the door, I found the room in complete darkness. Without turning on a light, I stumbled to the bed and then crawled in beside her.

Ice-cold hands latched on to me and pulled me close. I pulled her head to my chest and stroked my fingers over her shoulders much like Riley and Cash had been doing to me all day. I didn’t bother to try to give her words of comfort. If none could help me, I knew sure as fuck there were none to help her. She’d lost her partner in life, the father of her children. My dad had been her entire world, and in the blink of an eye, that had all been taken away.