Tainted Heartbreak (Tainted Knights 3)

I lost track of time as I lay there, letting Jane cry out all the pain that was tearing her soul apart, letting my own tears fall silently. Cash checked on me, making sure I was feeling okay, but other than that, he left us alone. A while later, Riley came in to tell me my brothers were up. No sooner had she said their names than they ran in, turning on the lights and jumping into the bed between

us.

Jane and I pulled them down with us. Brian, the youngest at six, wrapped me in a hug that made everything inside me breathe a sigh of relief. I loved this kid and his brother more than anything in the world. They were the last of the blood family I had in the world that actually cared about me.

Josh, who had only recently turned eight, seemed to be taking on the man of the house role. He hugged his mother, calming telling her in his little-boy voice that everything was okay because he was going to take care of her. I hurriedly blinked away the tears that tried to flood out of my eyes. Damn it, I should have been all cried out by now.

With all the puking and crying I had done, I was dehydrated and feeling weaker than a newborn kitten.

Brian stood up on the bed. “I’m hungry, Mommy.”

“Oh, honey. I’m sorry. Let me get you something to eat.” Jane started to move, but Riley was already coming into the room.

“That’s okay, Mrs. Marks. I’ll feed this little monster,” she assured her. “Cash is ordering pizza, squirt. That sound like something you might like?”

“Yeah,” he told her in a tired voice, making him sound considerably older than he really was.

“Can…I have some too?” Josh asked hesitantly, as if now that he was the man of the house, he wasn’t allowed to get excited over his favorite food anymore.

“I don’t know. I think Brian’s tummy is growling so loud, he might turn into a pizza monster and eat it all,” Riley teased. “Come on, buddy. Let’s go make sure Cash orders enough.”

Josh jumped out of bed and took her hand, following his brother out of the room. I sat up slowly in bed. My head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds and was throbbing from lack of food and all the crying I’d done in the last twenty-four hours.

“I like your friends, Amara,” Jane murmured in a hoarse voice. “I’m glad you have them in your life. Your dad and I have been so worried about you lately. He… He was going to call you this weekend to ask you to come home for a few days. H-He missed you so much, honey.”

“I missed him too,” I whispered. “But you shouldn’t have been worried. I-I recently had a job offer.”

“Oh no! Is your being here going to get you fired?”

I shrugged. “I hadn’t started yet, but no, it won’t mess anything up. Actually, my boss, she’s pretty cool. She understands and texted me this morning to ask if there was anything I needed.”

“Then you are lucky, honey. This boss sounds like a genuinely good person.”

A knock on the door had us turning to find Cash standing in the doorway. “Baby, is there anything else you want to try to eat? Salad, fries, breadsticks?”

My stomach growled in approval of all those suggestions. “One of everything?”

He crossed to the bed and leaned over to kiss me. “Whatever you want, Dreamer. I’m here to serve you.” He glanced at Jane. “Is there anything you would like? Anything I can get you?”

“Honey, you don’t have to do all of this,” Jane started, but Cash waved her off.

“Mrs. Marks, as long as I’m here, you just focus on yourself and the boys. I’ve got this. Whatever you need, just say the word.”

Over the next two weeks, Cash took care of all of us. Not just ordering food, but fielding phone calls or friends stopping by to offer their condolences. He was a pro at charming people into doing exactly what he wanted, because no one came in to disturb our solitude—and that included the oil rig representatives who seemed hell-bent on speaking to Jane.

The news that it would take a few more days to actually identify the bodies broke my heart all over again. There was no way to determine who was who without doing DNA testing; not even dental records could tell which body belonged to which man. Their bodies were just too damaged.

Time seemed to slow down until the ticking of the clocks paused altogether. I was losing my mind along with whatever food I tried to swallow. I wanted all of this to be over. Fuck, I wanted it to have never happened in the first damn place. But that was one miracle that would never happen.

By Friday, we were finally able to make funeral arrangements, but Dad’s body was too disfigured for any of us to see. Cash, still taking charge of everything, asked Jane and me what we wanted to do. Although it was difficult for us, we decided it would be better for everyone if we just had him cremated. That was all Cash seemed to need to know, because within hours, the memorial was all planned. Jane and I hadn’t even had to leave the house.

It seemed the explosion was turning into a media event, but when we went to the memorial at Jane and Dad’s church, the photographers were unable to get to us other than to snap a few pictures from a distance. Riley told me that Cash had called Emmie, and she sent out her security people to ensure the press kept their distance.

That night, I fell into bed beside Cash and held on to him tighter than I ever had before. He was leaving with Riley in the morning to take care of something that his grandmother needed, but I wanted to stay a few extra days with Jane and the boys. I knew I would see him that weekend, but we hadn’t spent more than a night apart since we’d met and just the thought of being away from him for so long was killing me.

“I can stay if you need me to,” he murmured as he stroked his fingertips up and down my bare back. “You’re more important to me than Gigi.”

I pressed a kiss into the center of his chest and lifted my head to look down at him. “You’ve stopped your life for me for almost two weeks. I can’t let you continue to ignore your grandmother like this. She’s been calling every day, and you just brush her off. I know how much she means to you, and if I’m going to get this woman to like me as much as Jane likes you, I need to let you go.”