Whisper (Riley Bloom 4)

We stood beside the big iron gates, watching the last few minutes of the fight—the remaining moments right before Theocoles died—before the crowd scorned him, turned on him, demanded he pay for what they perceived as an act of cowardice. And I looked at Bodhi, said, “Please, wait here—please, just let me handle this.” Then without another word, I sped toward the arena. Knowing Messalina never arrived until later, but that she would arrive, of that I’d no doubt. It was a dance they’d repeated too many times, and Messalina was just as caught up in it as he was.

She was also, apparently, on to me, because I’d barely made my way across the sand when she appeared right before me, and said, “If you don’t want to stay and enjoy the party, then perhaps you should leave. I’ve tried to be a good hostess. I’ve tried to provide you with everything your heart desires. But it doesn’t seem to be enough for you. You want more. You want something I can never allow you to have. You can’t fight me, Riley, and neither can your friends.” She motioned toward the place where Buttercup and Bodhi waited. “So perhaps it’s time we say our good-byes.”

“I thought you loved him?” I moved toward her. “I thought you wanted to be with him? I thought you were planning a future together?” I looked at her, her eyes shining brightly as she stood before me, haughty, regal—the queen of her own tragic fairy tale.

“I do,” she said quietly. “And I will have all of that, you will see. But when it does happen, it will be because of me. Theocoles will awaken because of me. Me, Riley, not you! My love will pull him through. One day he will look at me again, in real time, not in some past-life mirage. One day he will see the real me standing before him, and that will be enough. He’ll remember the love that we shared and it will shake him from the past. But it has to come from me, Riley. Why can’t you understand that? Why can’t you all just let us be?”

My jaw dropped in astonishment as a new understanding began to take shape. “You think you’re to blame.” My eyes met hers, and I knew it was true by the way she flinched in response. “You think he blames you for what happened to him.”

“What? And you see it differently?” She shot me a pitying look. “He was put to his death because he rolled over to look at me! He lost the battle—of that there’s no doubt—but he was the crowd favorite—surely they would’ve taken mercy—surely they would’ve chanted live instead of kill if he hadn’t done what he did. How were they to know his eyes went in search of me? No one knew about us—no one could know about us—my uncle would’ve never allowed it! Would’ve interfered and done whatever it took to stop it. But, as fate would have it, my uncle got just as he would’ve wished. I was standing beside him, when Theocoles’ eyes met mine, and that’s when my uncle confirmed what he’d already begun to suspect. But did he whisper in the emperor’s ear? Did he find a way to intervene? No. He allowed it to happen. And, when it was done, he turned to me and said, ‘It is for the best. Someday you will thank me.’”

She shook her head, her gaze bearing the loss as though it were fresh. “So make no mistake, Riley, Theocoles does blame me. I’ve been here for thousands of years and not once have I broken through to him. He refuses to see me unless it’s a scene we relive from the past. It’s the crowd he adores. It’s a love I cannot compete with—it’s a fate I’ve come to accept. Though my love for him burns brighter than ever, in all of these years it has not dimmed in the slightest. If anything, it’s just made me more determined. So please, please leave us to do what we do. Check back in another hundred years if you must, but for now, leave us be until then.”

“You’re willing to wait it out for another century?”

She nodded.

“Another hundred years of the same, lame routine?”

“It may be all the same—but it’s certainly not lame. I get to be near him—and that’s all that matters to me.”

I looked at her, this beautiful, charming ghost I once confused as my friend. And despite how evil I once thought she was, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. She was misguided, there was no getting around it, but everything she did, was done out of love.

I gazed down at the sand, caught in a quandary I hadn’t expected. There was no way I’d leave her be for another hundred years, that was out of the question. Especially now that I knew exactly how to awaken Theocoles from the past—knew exactly how to get through to him. A discovery that would surely place me in the Soul Catcher Hall of Fame—if there were such a thing—a discovery that all the other Soul Catchers would talk about in awe for years to come. They may even name a holiday after me in order to celebrate what was sure to be a monumental victory.

Thing was, it didn’t really have to be me who did it. I could just as easily tell Messalina the secret and provide her the script. After all, she’d spent the last several centuries just waiting for this moment—and I just wasn’t sure I could steal it from her—no matter how much glory it would mean for me.

>

I buried my big toe deep into the sand, knowing it would be just as easy to push right past her and claim center stage.

Easy, but not necessarily right.

And definitely not at all kind.

I heaved a great sigh, looked up at her, and said, “While there’s no way I’m leaving you here for the next hundred years—I will leave you this: If you want to get through to Theocoles, you need to learn how to whisper …”

23

“I don’t get it.” She glanced between the gladiator and me, face full of judgment and scorn. “How could that possibly work? He only responds to the roar of the crowd—and as far as he’s concerned the louder the better. Why would he pay attention to something he can’t even hear? Something sure to be drowned out by the noise?”

“Because sometimes there’s more worth in silence than noise,” I said, desperate for her to understand what I’d just come to learn for myself. “Sometimes everything you need to know is contained in that small quiet space. Sometimes we get so caught up in distraction and noise and seeking other people’s approval we forget the quiet seed of truth that lives in our hearts. But just because we fail to tune in to it, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Theocoles loves you. I know, because I saw you together in his cell—I saw the look he gave you after he fell in the arena—”

“Yeah, and it’s because of that look that he refuses to look at me now.” She shook her head, folded her arms across her chest. “I’m sorry, Riley, I know you’re only trying to help, which is pretty amazing after all that I’ve put you through, but I just don’t see the point in—”

“I didn’t see the point in trying on the blue dress the day we first met. I didn’t see the point in manifesting a new and improved version of me. But in the end, it worked, and no matter how things turned out, for a while anyway, the results made me happy.” I nodded, wanting her to realize the truth behind my words, but she was quick to dismiss it.

“That was different, that was an outcome within my control.” She shrugged, looked away.

“Was it?” I quirked a brow, refused to give up. “I mean, I’m the one who came up with the vision of how I wanted to look—not you. So didn’t I play some part in the way things turned out?”

She looked at me, a new understanding beginning to dawn on her face.

“Try it,” I urged. “What can it hurt to try when you have nothing left to lose?”

She nodded, ran her hands over the front of her gorgeous pink gown, fussed with her curls, adjusted her necklace and rings, and approached him. Standing beside him as he stared at his corpse, mumbling in confusion, where she proceeded to do the exact opposite of what I’d just counseled.

Instead of approaching him gently, quietly, she turned toward the crowd, threw her head back, opened her arms wide, and sent them into a state of uncontrolled frenzy—the stadium rumbling with the sound of: Theocoles! Theocoles! Long live Theocoles, the Pillar of Doom!