Whisper (Riley Bloom 4)

The chorus repeating again and again as Theocoles stopped, alerted to their cry of noisy admiration, he gazed around wildly, threw his head back, spread his arms wide, and soaked it all in.

“What’s she doing?” Bodhi asked, having come up beside me.

I shook my head in reply. Disappointed didn’t even begin to describe how I felt.

“But, more importantly, what are you doing?” he said, staring intently.

I looked at him, unsure what he meant.

“Giving away your Soul Catch to a ghost who tricked you?” He frowned. “The Riley Bloom I know would never do such a thing. She wouldn’t even consider giving up the glory.”

Oh, that.

I nodded, shrugged, unsure just how to explain it other than to say, “I guess it just seemed like the right thing to do. You know, the kind, mature thing to do. But, maybe I misjudged her.”

I closed my eyes to better listen to the lecture that played in my head. The one that chided me for my foolishness—that scolded me for trusting someone who’d tricked me numerous times already. But just as that internal dialogue began to take hold, a new thought moved in and stopped it cold.

What I was doing was the same thing Theocoles had done for a pile of centuries. I was tuning in to my hurt pride, my bruised ego, my tarnished self-image, my wounded vanity—I was so focused on the lecture, I ignored the quiet truth that lived deep inside. And once I’d silenced the noise in my head, I realized the noise in the arena had vanished as well.

Messalina had taken my advice after all.

Theocoles staggered, floundered his way across the sand, searching for his helmet, his sword, and his shield—ready to enter into his tireless routine yet again.

But just as he reached for them, Messalina made them each vanish—one by one—until he spun in confusion, unsure what to do.

“I know you prefer to hear them,” she whispered, gesturing toward the stadium. She filled the stands briefly with a crowd that clapped and cheered, noting the way Theocoles’ eyes lit up at the sight of it, the sound of it, and how quickly they extinguished the moment she took it away. “But I’ve indulged you for too long, and now I’m hoping you’ll listen to me instead of them.”

He moved right past her, knocking into her, completely unaware of her, causing her to look my way, her face broken, longing for encouragement, approval, which I happily gave.

“I’ve been trying to reach you for so long now,” she said. “I have so much to tell you. There are so many things you used to care about—so many goals you used to work toward—and though it seems you have forgotten them, that you’ve turned your back and ceased caring about them—I still want you to know that just after you died, I saw that your brother was freed. I told you I would provide the money, I told you that you didn’t have to fight for it, and I kept my promise. I had him released from the mines, and I’m happy to say that because of it, Lucius was able to live a long and fulfilling life. I also had a monument built in your honor. It was a bust of your face, with your name on a plaque just underneath so that no one would ever forget who you were, or that you were once the reigning champion of the Colosseum. It stood for a very long time, hundreds of years, to be sure. It stood just outside of these walls. Though unfortunately it was knocked down not long after the fall. Yes, the empire has fallen.” She smiled. “So much has changed—some of Rome is not at all recognizable—and some is much like you left it. Not that you got to see much outside of the ludus—but the point is, you are no longer stuck here. Or at least you don’t have to be. The choice is yours. But if you choose to stay here, well, you will stay here alone.” She glanced over her shoulder, meeting my gaze as she said, “I’m tired of this same, lame routine. I’m sorry that you’ve never seen fit to forgive me. But maybe it’s time I forgive myself. Maybe it’s time for me to move on to what’s next.”

She moved toward him, grabbed hold of his shoulders and stared hard into his face, repeating the words I’d fed her just moments before. “I wish you would learn to tune out the roar of the crowd, and instead, listen to the whisper of truth that lives in your heart.”

He tried to move away, tried to move past her, still on a quest for his missing sword, but Messalina held firm, her hands grasping his arms as she finished the script I’d given to her. “Your heart always knows what’s important. It always knows how to guide you. It’s pure, and trustworthy—though it will never shout to be heard. It will never speak above a whisper. But if you learn how to heed it, how to hear it, you will never feel lost in the world.”

He pushed her aside, lurched forward, continued to stagger across the sand, as I sagged in frustration, knowing she did the best that she could, that I couldn’t have done any better. I guess this was one Soul Catch neither one of us could cross over.

I started to turn, started to motion to Bodhi to leave. My feelings conflicted, knowing I’d done all I could, though that didn’t make it any easier. Defeat was something I did not handle well.

Reminded of the words Bodhi said before I’d even started this journey, som

e old Gandhi quote, “Full effort is full victory.” And though its meaning was clear, I was hardly in the mood to celebrate any effort that didn’t end in victory, it’s just how I was.

I met Bodhi’s eyes, trying not to feel ashamed in front of my guide, totally missing the way he gestured, pointed behind me, until he said, “Look.”

I turned to see Theocoles, brow scrunched in confusion, as he watched Messalina cross the arena.

The Colosseum so quiet you could hear a butterfly take flight, broken by Theocoles’ fervent cry, “Messalina!”

She stopped, her eyes wide, as she spun on her heel to face him. Her body still, face cautiously hopeful, as though she couldn’t quite believe that the moment she’d been waiting for had finally come to fruition.

“Messalina—where am I?” He gazed around in confusion. “Where have they gone?” He motioned toward a stadium, once filled to capacity, but now empty.

“Home,” she said, her voice like a sigh. “They left the Colosseum a very long time ago. We’re the only ones left. Well, the only original ones anyway.”

“And Lucius? He is free, it is true what you said?”

She nodded, approaching him until she stood just inches away, saying, “Yes.”