“Yeah well, you and... the baby’s father are two very different people. He’s made it quite clear he’s not a family man,” I responded bitterly.
Kyle glanced at me and I could tell he wanted to ask who it was, but he was too much of a nice guy to do that.
“Don’t say anything to Adam or Meg, please. You’re the first person to know actually,” I said sheepishly.
He put his arm around me again. There was something comforting about Kyle and there always had been. “I would never betray your confidence. Not even to my best friends. Because you’re my friend too, Lena. Never forget that. And I’m here if you need me.”
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out to see Whitney’s name on the screen. “Let me take this,” I told Kyle and then put the phone to my ear. “Hey.”
“Hey, Lena. How are you?” Whitney asked.
“I could be better,” I told her honestly.
There was a moment of silence on the other end as she processed what I hadn’t come out and said. “Where are you? Let me come meet you. We’ll spend the day together like we used to when you were younger. It’ll be good for both of us.”
“That sounds nice actually. I’m at the park right now. I ran into Kyle and his daughter,” I said, smiling at Kyle.
There was another moment of silence. “Oh, Kyle’s there?” Her voice sounded strange. “Um okay, well let me finish what I’m doing here and I’ll be there in… say fifteen minutes?”
“Sounds great. I’ll wait for you.”
When I hung up, I turned to Kyle. “Whitney’s on her way over.”
His expression changed, only slightly, but I saw it. “Whitney? She’s coming here?” His voice sounded odd too. What was up with them?
“Yeah, is that a problem?” I didn’t know why it would be. I wasn’t aware they even knew each other that well even though Whitney was Meg’s older sister. It wasn’t as if she and Kyle spent a lot of time together.
Kyle got to his feet. “I should get Katie home. She’s going to be waking up soon and she’ll need to have some lunch.” He seemed almost in a rush to leave.
If my head wasn’t about to explode, I would have asked if something was wrong but I wasn’t in a position to poke around in anyone else’s personal life at the moment.
I got to my feet and put my arms around the much taller man. He squeezed me tight. “You’ll do the right thing. You always do, Lena.”
“I hope you’re right,” I said, my voice muffled by his jacket.
Kyle turned the stroller around, the movement jostling Katie, finally waking her. She opened her tiny, rosebud mouth and let out a wail that could pierce eardrums. “And that’s my cue,” Kyle said wryly. He paused a moment, his face going strange again. “Tell Whitney I said hi—” he stopped himself. “You know what, never mind. Don’t tell her anything. Bye, Sherlock.” I felt warm at his use of my childhood nickname.
I wrapped my arms around myself, as if trying to keep the pieces together, then pressed my palm against my flat belly imagining the life that grew there and then promptly recoiled.
Questions and doubts swirled around in my head.
But answers were in short supply.
Chapter 16
Lena
Pretend everything is normal.
That was my mantra.
It was exhausting.
I went to the doctor later in the week who confirmed what the five tests already told me. I was pregnant with a capital P. And apparently about seven weeks along. Which meant conception was most definitely the night when, in my infinite wisdom, I told Jeremy he didn’t need to wear a condom.
And I was supposed to be the smart one.
Dr. Waybright, a sweet lady with stylishly short grey hair, handed me a printout of my sonogram that showed a white blob that was supposed to be my baby. The vaginal sonogram had also detected a heartbeat, which was surreal to hear. And didn’t make it any easier to make a decision as to what I was going to do.
Dr. Waybright gave me pamphlets on my choices. She spoke about abortion and adoption. I tried to hear her, but it was hard over the deafening buzz that filled my head.
It was difficult not telling anyone, particularly Jeremy. In truth, I couldn’t even look at him.
I avoided his phone calls the rest of the evening and when I showed up at the office the next morning, of course, he sought me out.
He came into my office and pulled the door closed, leaving it open a crack so as to not draw attention. He approached me with a worried look on his face. “I tried calling you all night.” He didn’t say it quite as an accusation, but I knew he wasn’t happy I had been dodging him. “Are you okay? Whitney said that you went home sick.”