“What do you want, Jeremy?” Her voice was weak and raspy, and she sounded tired. I ached to reach out and touch her. To hold her. To make her feel better.
“Can’t a guy say hello to his co-worker? Do I need a reason to come over?” I narrowed my eyes distrustfully. “Or should I leave the two of you alone?”
Kyle and Lena shared a look that was meant for the two of them alone. I saw red. With my alcohol haze, I was tempted to deck Webber.
“I think maybe I should give you guys a minute,” Kyle said, starting to back away.
I said “yeah” at that same time Lena said “no.” I glared at her. She glared back.
“Um…” Kyle didn’t seem to know what to do.
“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.” A hand touched my arm. Sheila was at my side, smiling a little unsurely.
“Hey there,” I greeted, giving her my sexiest smile. I looked at Lena, just to make sure she saw the exchange. I should have felt good that she was watching us, looking less than happy. But it didn’t. I felt horrible.
But she didn’t want me. Her thoughts on the matter were immaterial.
Liar.
I put my arm around Sheila’s waist and pulled her close. Sheila seemed surprised, as she should have been. I hadn’t touched her in months.
“You look good,” I purred in her ear, bending close. This felt all wrong. I wanted to drop my arm immediately, I shouldn’t be touching her. This wasn’t right.
Instead, I ordered another drink from the waitress as she walked by. “You want anything, babe?” I asked Sheila, though I was looking at Lena.
She looked like she was going to throw up. Kyle said something to her quietly. He put his hand on her back. I was going to explode.
I brushed Sheila's hair behind her shoulders, my fingers lingering on the bare skin of her upper back. “Appletini, right?” I asked her, remembering that was her drink of choice.
Sheila didn’t seem pleased at my memory. She frowned. Looking from me to Lena. “Sure,” was all she said.
“How are things with you? It’s been too long. Far, far too long.” I let the unspoken invitation hang in the air.
God, I hated myself. What was I doing?
The waitress brought my third drink. I barely tasted it as I swallowed it in one gulp.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Lena, who was looking more and more upset but trying to hide it.
Unable to stand the sight of Marlena’s glassy eyes, I dropped my hand from Sheila’s back. I didn’t want to touch her anyway. I shouldn’t be using her like this. It wasn’t fair. I only wanted to touch one woman.
Lena stood up abruptly, almost knocking her chair over. She said something to Kyle and then excused herself, heading for the side door.
Kyle gave me a look of pure disgust and walked away.
I felt my whole-body sag in defeat. This was not what I wanted. What I wanted—who I wanted—was walking out the door.
“I’m sorry, Sheila. I need to—I’ve got to go find—” My brain was a mess. I couldn’t finish my sentences and the alcohol wasn’t helping.
“Go after her,” Sheila said. “I know that’s what this is all about. I’m not dumb. I’ve come far enough in a male-dominated field to recognize when a man’s focus isn’t on me.” She didn’t sound sad or self-deprecating.
“I’m sorry, Sheila. I shouldn’t have used you like that. It’s not fair—God, what is wrong with me?” I scrubbed my face with my hands, wishing I could think clearly.
She patted my arm. “You’re in love. It makes the best of us act like morons. Now go get Lena before she leaves. And if you care about her, don’t play stupid games with her.”
“You’re right. Thanks, Sheila.” I squeezed her hand and rushed toward the exit. I hurried outside and stopped, scanning the parking lot. I saw Lena by the entrance, tapping at her phone.
“Marlena!” I called out.
She glanced up, her expression stony. “Go away, Jeremy. I can’t deal with whatever drama you’re bringing with you. Go back inside and keep Sheila Moore company.”
I practically ran to her, stumbling over my feet. “Don’t go. Please. Just talk to me.” I took hold of her arms and turned her to face me. “Tell me what’s going on, damn it.” My frustration was at war with my desperation for her. It made for a dangerous cocktail of emotions.
“I can’t—” she started to sob. Why was she crying? Fucking hell, what was up with her?
“Yes, you can, damn it! We care about each other. I haven’t looked at another woman since that first time—”
“Well, give the man a medal,” she snapped, trying to pull away.
“Stop it, just stop it, alright! I only want you. No one else. You’re it, Marlena. And I’m it for you, too.” I’d make her see I was right. She knew as well as I did that we were meant for each other. That we loved each other. Adam and the rest of the world could go to hell.