Chicks, Man

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

“I’m just gonna go take a leak.”

We both whip our heads in each other’s direction.

“Oh, you go then.”

“No, it’s fine. You go.”

“Well, someone go. Geez.” Stacey steps in, breaking up the battle of who’s going to run and hide. Since I can’t imagine having to stick back and deal with Stacey’s curious inquiries, I volunteer and take off into the woods.

Slipping on my flip flops, I grab my towel, tanning lotion, and sunglasses. As soon as I step out of the tent, the sun almost blinds me, so I drop my shades from the top of my head and peer over to my right where everyone seems to be huddling.

“All right, everyone, double check you have your life jackets. You don’t want to kayak without ’em.” Kipley instructs everyone on the rules of the lake while I head to the Tahoe to grab my kindle and headphones. I close the door—and jump fifty feet backwards, practically denting Kipley’s SUV.

“Jesus, Levi!”

“Sorry. I thought you saw me.”

“I didn’t.” I push off the Tahoe and start walking back toward the camp. Kipley is snapping Stacey’s life jacket on, while Rebecca attempts to put hers on backwards. I shake my head. What an idiot.

“We’re getting ready to leave. If you don’t change your shoes, we’re going to miss the kayak excursion.”

“I’m not going on the excursion.” At that, Levi stops, but I don’t. I keep walking until I get to my brother and hand him his keys.

“And why exactly aren’t you going?” he continues to dig.

“Who, Hannah?” Kipley laughs. “She hasn’t gone near the river since Chase knocked her out of her kayak that one year.”

Levi’s eyes shift back to me in question, but I ignore them. I slide my glasses up my nose and throw my backpack over my shoulder. Leaning in, I give my brother a kiss on the cheek and tell him and Stacey to have fun. I don’t bother wishing Rebecca well since I hope she floats off a waterfall…not that there are any.

I continue my walk through the pathed woods, which eventually lead to the open lake. When I make it to the clearing, the sun shines beautifully over the water. The old deck in need of a slight makeover makes me smile. The memories that have been made throughout the years. Good and bad. The place where I got my stupid Hannah Banana nickname, to our family competitions of who could hold their breath the longest under water. It makes me wish my mom had been able to join us for this trip, but with her donating her free time to the local flower shop, she sadly had to decline Dad’s offer.

I lay my towel on the deck, feeling the heat below my feet from the hot sun, then place my earbuds in my ears. The upbeat sounds of my favorite artist play in my ears as I lay my head down—

“Room for two on this deck?”

My eyes fly open, the sun blocked by a tall, built, gorgeous problem. “What are you doing here, Levi? I thought you were kayaking?” I sit up, the annoyance in my voice evident.

“I was. But I didn’t feel well. So, I came back.”

“Then why are you here?”

He shrugs, dropping his towel next to mine. “Thought some sun and relaxation would do me good.” Ugh, he is not planning on staying here with me all day! “Unless you’d rather be alone.” He stands there waiting for a reply. I want to say yes, I would love to be alone. Spending the day with him says no relaxing will be had. My nerves are already going bonkers, and my body is tense simply from him standing here. And god forbid if he dares attempt to bring up this morning.

He’s surveying me with those deep emerald eyes. Nothing says he’s here to bust my chops. Maybe it’s just me all worked up and overthinking. Maybe we can pretend this morning didn’t happen.

What morning?

Exactly.

“No, it’s fine. Have at it.” I scoot my towel a little to the right so he can fit his on the deck. He nods and smiles, adjusting his towel. We don’t speak for some time while he sits and stares off across the lake. I would ask him what’s got his attention, but I get it. The view is breathtaking. It’s when I place my earbuds back in and lay back down that he breaks the silence.

“What happened with Chase and why you won’t go kayaking?” I remove my earbuds and sit back up. “You don’t have to tell me. I’m just curious.”

“I almost drowned.”

He pulls his eyes away from the lake to connect with mine. There’s an intensity in his stare pleading for me to explain.

“It was when I was eleven. We all went on the kayak trip like we did every year. The whole family, and of course, that year, Kipley had his whole gang with him, minus you. I think you may have had a game that weekend. Anyway, we were all on the water and Chase thought it would be funny to flip me. We were in a low current so it wasn’t like I couldn’t stand if I wanted to. He rocked my boat, the usual Chase taunt. I wasn’t afraid to flip, but when I did, I became stuck. My foot had been caught on the beach bag I jammed in the front of my boat.”