Chicks, Man

“Baby, calm down. It’s all over. He can’t hurt you now. You’re safe.”

But he can. And he is. I begin reliving my own nightmare, feeling the knife stab through my flesh all over again. The fear. The fire. Clara. “He…he killed Clara,” I cry out, grabbing for my neck. The images wrap around me like a noose, and I fight to inhale.

“Hannah, calm down.” He turns to the doctor. “Do something dammit! She’s having a panic attack!”

The doctor leans over to my IV, inserting a needle inside the tube. I watch as my father stares at me in torment before my eyes fall shut.

“How long has she been out?”

“Almost three hours. You really should be resting. The doctor said he doesn’t want you up and straining your lungs.”

“I’m not leaving her side, Mom.”

Mom and Kipley.

I miss Kipley. I hope I didn’t miss the baby being born. Fighting once again, I force my eyelids past the brightness of the light and find my brother.

“Kipley.” I can’t find my own voice. It’s so hoarse, and my throat burns when I speak.

“Hey, there she is.” He leans down, placing a kiss on my forehead. “Glad to see you’re awake.”

He reaches for my hand, and I squeeze back. “The baby?”

“The baby’s good. Stacey’s having pregnancy munchies, so she ran down to the cafeteria.”

What day is it? How long have I been here?

“You haven’t had the baby yet?” I ask. Why does he seem confused? Did something happen to the baby? His eyes search out my mom’s for guidance before claiming back my attention.

“No, Han. We still have a ways to go. Do you know what day it is?”

“Kipley!” My mom smacks him, as if his question is inappropriate.

I try to search for any memory of what day it should be. “I…um…I’m not really sure. It was a Monday when I went to see Clara. But I can’t recall after I went to Jake’s—I went to Jake’s and you guys fought—oh my god, you and Levi fought—”

Bits of memory slice through my brain, and I begin to cry. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I repeat, a hurricane of emotions drowning me. Violent waves of tears blind me as I gasp for air with each retched sob.

Kipley is in the bed with me, his arms cradling me. His own tears mix with mine as he silently weeps alongside me. “Oh, Hannah, you have nothing to be sorry for. I owe you the apology. Please, please stop crying.” My sobs settle into desolate whimpers, and I allow my brother to comfort me until the energy takes its toll and I fall asleep in his arms.

I’m walking around a house. It’s unfamiliar to me. I search for anything that will help me understand why I’m here. My feet paddle along the worn carpet, and I look down to see I’m wearing a floral dress. Why is this dress so familiar? A sinking feeling takes root in my belly, and I turn the corner, only to find myself back in the same room. Disoriented, I turn around to find my way out, but no matter which way I take, I end up back in the same room. Unease begins to crawl up my spine and I work harder to find a way out, only to end up in the same place as I started.

“Where am I? Somebody help me!” I call out, my voice echoing off the walls. Confusion takes flight in my mind. I begin spinning, trying to find a new way out. Faster and faster, I spin, with no way to stop. “Somebody help me!” I call out again. Two hands grab me, halting me in place. The face of a monster appears in my vision, and I hear the flicker of a lighter. “If I can’t have you, nobody can.”

I wake up screaming just as he sets me on fire.

Levi

“Take the pain meds, idiot.”

I swat at the nurse standing next to Kipley. “No. How long have I been out?”

He shakes his head in frustration. “I don’t know, a little over twenty-four hours.”

Fuck. I need to get to her. Be with her. “Hannah…”

“She’s okay. She’s been in and out.”

I’m lying on my stomach due to the brand-new patchwork on my back. “Help me up. I need to go see her—”

“You need to take the goddamn pain meds and rest. You reopened half the scab wounds on your back. That shit has to hurt. Not to mention the damn chunk missing from your ear.” It does. Like a bitch. But nothing hurts as much as the unknown with her. If he won’t help me, I’ll get to her on my own. “Oh hell. Stubborn jock.” As I twist around to a sitting position, he grabs at my hand and helps as I slide my legs off the bed. My back is as stiff as a board, the bandages making it difficult to bend in any which way but straight. With every groan, Kipley threatens to put me back in bed, and I threaten to kick his ass if he even tries.