The Matthews family was hitting me left and right with such love, it was hard to keep my emotions in check. Even Cheryl got me one day, cornering me with hugs and tears, thanking me. But she didn’t need to thank me. I’d give my life for her daughter’s—always.
Hannah skips around the pool, stopping in front of us, her cute little body shielding us from the high sun. “What are you two up to, looking so serious?”
Kip snorts. “We’re on the edge of our seats, waiting to see if Chase makes it out of that pool alive.”
Hannah shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t have it in me right now to make his life hell. Not sure about Ben, though. Chase told him his new girlfriend looks like his mom. Didn’t take well to that.” She looks at me and winks. “I’m going to go to the bathroom real quick. If Ben doesn’t drown him, maybe I’ll make an attempt to finish the job.” With that, she walks off toward the house before disappearing inside.
“Dude…can you not look at my sister like that when I’m around?”
That gets a good laugh out of me. I shake my head. “Sorry, no can do. Better get used to it.”
A gush of water shoots from the pool as Chase jumps out, shaking off in front of us. “Dude, you two look like a bunch of girls. What, are you two pussy-whipped jerk-offs sharing recipes and shit? Get in the water. Let’s play a game of volleyball.”
Kipley gets up and dives into the pool.
“I’m gonna grab some beers. Anyone want anything?”
“Yeah, grab the tequila. Losers drink. Wait...winners drink. Just grab the booze. And hurry. We gotta get Kip drunk before his mom-wife shows up and puts the kibosh on all the fun—shit, I swear women make you all violent.” Even I hold my stomach feeling that hit Chase just took from Kip as I laugh it off and head inside to search for my girl.
Hannah
“Shoot,” I grumble, leaning closer to the mirror, pressing my fingers to my rosy cheeks. I swear, no matter how much lotion I apply, the sun always wins. I assess the rest of me, noticing my chest is beet red, along with my thighs. My eyes scan down my stomach. Twisting to my side, I take in my red shoulders. When I scan down my back, I notice my two-inch scar, the sun accentuating the whiteness of the faint stitches.
You know too much.
You know too much.
I shake my head, ripping my eyes away from the permanent scar, and wash my hands, wishing I could as easily wash away the memory. I’m better. I’m getting better. He can’t hurt me anymore. Physically at least. Some days, I still feel as if he’s stabbing me all over again in my mind.
I found closure during the trial, but it also left me with new demons, one being uncertainty. How had I been so naive? Were they right? Had I been leading Braydon…Connor on? They painted me to be this awful person. And maybe I was. I hold the weight of Clara’s death on my shoulders. A secret I can’t share. My family…Levi…they’ll try to convince me it’s not my fault, but it is. She would still be alive if I hadn’t been so eager to prove my credibility. I lie to my family and Levi once a week. My counseling sessions take as long as they do because I secretly visit Clara’s grave. I make sure she knows what an impact she’s made on her town. I tell her how sorry I am she’s not here with us and keep her updated on her son, even though I’m lying. His life is forever ruined. Not only will he never be able to walk again, he will spend the next few years in a juvenile center until he’s old enough to be transferred to an adult facility. After what he’s been through, he doesn’t deserve that life, but he accepted his fate the second he entered the courtroom with a manmade weapon, untraceable by metal detectors, with intent to kill Connor Miller.
Levi has changed my life in so many ways, I’ve started to lose count. His dedication is something I don’t or may never know how to truly thank him for. This can’t be easy. My nightmares aren’t easy. A lot of my worry stems from him giving up on me. How is someone as messed up as me what anyone signs up for? But for some reason and blessings above, he loves me. His heart is so big, I don’t know how to repay his affection. But it’s something I need. Crave. It was the truth when I confessed he was my medicine. Every single day that goes by, I feel better, smile a little more, and feel closer to being my old self. I’m grateful to him.