The Keepers raspy voice caused an involuntary shudder. “John, tomorrow evening Sarah will become your wife. You will ensure she continues on the mission of The Light and bear a child with her as soon as possible. She is the only one of age that can be taken as of now. Even though she was brought here at a young age, I do not believe she remembers her past life. We must be sure that she stays on the path and teaches my grandchildren the proper ways of The Society.”
My throat was dry as my reality further altered. Marriage. Child. He expected me to marry John—tomorrow. My skin crawled with the thought of being married to John and having his kid. He was a widower in his forties. His wife, who’d never been able to have children, passed away four months ago to the same mysterious illness Mom had died from. The herbalists were still unable to find any cure to the illness that plagued our people from time to time. The Keeper said it was The Light’s way of bringing people home when it was time.
I wanted to be with Matthew. He would bring me comfort.
“Father, was it in a vision?” John sounded hopeful and my stomach threatened to expel the unwanted lunch I had eaten.
The voice of the Keeper grew impatient as I pressed myself against the building, hoping to remain unseen. “John, I am getting old and I need my son to have a successor. The new Keeper must have offspring. The Light allows me to do what I deem fit in order to keep our way of life regardless if it comes in a vision or not. You know this. Do not question me.” He paused for a second before continuing, his voice more controlled. “I will wed you to Sarah and she will be able to give you children. She is nineteen and is the perfect age for childbearing. Be at the church tomorrow evening at eight. I shall have Greta tell Sarah of this development tomorrow and say it was a vision. Sarah has probably already headed back for her night of grieving. No one is to bother her. Go back into the hall. Tell no one we have spoken.”
Thunder roared through the sky which caused me to nearly yelp in surprise. I turned and ran the opposite way to my house and would loop back around in the woods. My mind raced as everything blurred. I tried to go through everything I had found out.
I was not Sarah.
I had a past life prior to The Society.
The Keeper wanted me wed to his son in order to bear children.
This was against everything we had been taught about The Light. Regardless if I had believed in The Light or not, any beliefs I did have were vanishing and I felt like I was lost on every level of life imaginable.
Panic wanted me to curl into a ball to protect myself, but self-preservation drove me to keep going. For now, I would push it all down. First, I needed to find the letter my mom talked about. Then, I would try to figure out the mess my life had become.
My legs ran faster and faster as I made it to the tree line. Turning back, I made sure no one had seen me. There were no windows in the community hall. I need to get home. Home. The word seemed strange to me now. As I raced to my house, I remembered the glob of mud on my mom’s coffin as it disappeared into nothing.
I wanted to disappear into nothing.
I STOPPED INSIDE the tree line that opened up to my backyard. To the left was a vacant lot with tall grass. The Millers’ home was to the right. They would have duties to complete after the meal and should still be at the community hall. As I was about to walk into the backyard, a hand came down on mine and I nearly came out of my skin.
“Shh, it’s only me.”
The familiar voice had me heaving a sigh of relief. “Matthew, you scared me.”
He grabbed my hand in the familiar gesture we were accustomed to when we were alone. The concern in his face was evident. “I was worried about you. Before I have to go see The Keeper, I had to see you. I’m sorry about your mom.”
The loving lilt in his voice brought a new wave of sadness. I missed my mom. Uncharacteristically, I leaned against his chest. My actions surprised him, and me, as it took a few seconds before warm arms came around me. We’d never been this close, but I needed the comfort more than I knew. It felt safe and I didn’t care that I was breaking some of the fundamental rules.
I nearly sobbed into his chest. “Matthew, I’ve missed you.”
Matthew relaxed as he got used to the contact. “I’ve missed you, too. I hate that we haven’t been able to talk lately.”
Not ready to lose the connection, but knowing we had to separate before someone caught us, I took a step back. The compulsion to tell him everything, as I looked into his blue eyes, was strong. Opening my mouth to speak, I closed it for a second. By telling him, I might be putting him at risk. Confusion on how to best proceed laid heavy in my gut.
“What’s wrong, Sarah? You look like you have something on your mind.” Matthew’s eyes darted back and forth, watching me.
Sarah. How would I even explain my name was Kenzie when I didn’t know the answer myself? I swallowed the truth. “I feel lost, but I’ll get through it.”
“I know tomorrow is the cleansing day, but can we meet in the woods before it all starts? I have something I want to talk to you about.” Matthew looked nervous as he waited for my answer.
Another twig snapped and we both took another step back, further separating us and the anxiety of potentially being caught heightened. “I’ll find a way to meet in our spot before breakfast.”
“I have to go, Sarah. Sweet dreams until tomorrow.”
“Sweet dreams until tomorrow.” The phrase was something special between us. We always said to each other when we said good-bye.
Another crack in the branches had our nerves on edge. We were definitely on borrowed time.
He mouthed, I have to go.
I nodded. As my best friend walked away, I leaned against the tree trunk. What did he have to talk to me about? Maybe he wanted to go to the Light to see about marriage now that I was alone. I wasn’t sure how I felt about marriage right now.