“Sounds good, Sawyer.”
The wooden two-story cabin came into view. I still hated coming here—I had ever since Mattie died. But it felt like my penance to face for what I’d done, so I forced myself to keep coming year after year. It served as a reminder of why I did not deserve children.
Kurt pulled into the driveway. “You okay?”
I took a deep breath. “I will be.”
Kurt’s eyebrows drew together. I knew it was an odd statement. And later I would try to explain more. Thankfully, my mother walked out onto the front steps as I opened the car door. Whew, it’s cold. The fresh snow crunched under my shoes. I waved. “Hey, Mom. I have some exciting news!” Her cane was gone and her limp wasn’t as noticeable. “Your cane? You’re walking so much better. The mountain air is doing you good.”
“I wasn’t expecting you. You’re in Denver?”
I froze as an uneasy feeling came over me. This felt all too familiar. “Umm…we talked about it in Florida before I left. I reminded you last week, too. I called this morning and even sent a couple of texts.”
“I guess it slipped my mind.”
Worried, I stepped closer to her. “Are you okay? What did I do?”
Patting her head as if to check her hair, my mother looked at me with dead eyes. “It’s fine, Sawyer. I’m sorry you drove out all this way, but right now is not a good time. We’re tired from the move.”
These were the same type of excuses I’d gotten before. Any time I suggested wasn’t a good time. Nervously, I looked back at Kurt, hating that he was seeing this. Of course, he joined me, but I couldn’t see his eyes behind his sunglasses. A bit of warmth comforted me when he wrapped his arm around my waist.
My mother followed the movement. “Are you guys together now?”
“Yes, just last night. I wanted to tell you and Dad over brunch. I brought pastries and some other goodies I know you like.”
She nodded. “Congratulations. Maybe another time would be better.”
It was as if any progress I’d made was gone. Deflated, I said, “I’ll leave the pastries with you.”
Without a word, Kurt got the basket out of the car and handed it to Mom.
“Thanks, Kurt. We appreciate the thought.”
“It was all Sawyer’s idea—she handled everything. It was meant for us to share together while Sawyer shared the news she thought you would want to know.”
Giving a tight smile, my mother turned and walked into the house without looking back.
“Why is this happening again? I don’t understand what I’ve done.”
Over the last two weeks, I’d tried to think of anything I missed—birthdays, anniversaries, promises I’d made. Nothing came to mind. I couldn’t think of anything I’d done. Nothing.
“Sawyer, let’s go.”
I stared at the front door, unmoving. Kurt had managed to get me to take a few steps backward when my father opened the door and stepped outside. “What’s going on, Dad? I don’t understand what I’ve done this time. I thought things were better.”
My father’s face was emotionless. “Sawyer, you don’t have to know everything that happens in our lives. We’re fine. But coming here unannounced shouldn’t happen. You haven’t lived with us for a long time.”
Ouch.
I stood, stunned, as my father turned away from me. Anytime something good happened to me, there was always a swift reminder that I didn’t deserve it.
Kurt cursed beside me. “Come on, Sawyer. Let’s go.”
Stiffly, I got in the car, facing forward and trying not to cry. Kurt had been around my parents enough to notice the difference today. He’d come into my life when they were loving and kind. No one but Cameron knew about this behavior. Even Knoah thought we had the perfect life—but it was all for show. My throat grew thick with the tears I was holding back.
Kurt maneuvered the car out of the driveway. “I don’t know what to say, Sawyer. I’m not even sure I understand what I just witnessed. Is your mom okay? Do you think your dad has done something to her?”
“No, I doubt it. From time to time, they get like this with me. It’ll pass. Things will go back to normal. I’ll just leave them alone until they reach out.”