Tempting Perfection

He paced a few times, then pointed to both Monica and me. “And no more talking to them. We don’t know what they’re capable of.”

“I agree,” Kurt and I said at the same time.

After three days, I still hadn’t fully accepted it. My emotions swung from angry to crushed to livid at any given time.

Monica looked a little pale. “I can’t believe they’re capable of lying about Adriane’s death. I love them like my own parents.”

Considering how well-connected Monica’s parents were, our parents had probably pursued that relationship to better their own circumstances. This all felt like a terrible dream.

Cameron shifted his focus. “How are you doing with this? The baby?”

“We’re good. Well, I’m as good as can be expected. The baby is fine. He’s kicking, which I like. It reminds me that he’s okay. What are you going to do?”

“I want to go see Adriane.”

The thought of seeing her again sent chills down my spine. No, thank you. When she had lived under my parents’ roof, I swore Adriane did everything in her power to make me miserable. I wanted nothing to do with her.

“If you decide to go, let me know. I’d like to coordinate with the security team.” Kurt kept a firm grip on me while he spoke to Cameron.

“Of course. I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

I stood, needing a hug from my brother. A few sticky notes floated out from underneath my shirt to the floor. Cameron quirked a brow. I lifted my shirt a little in explanation. “I’m hoping I can—through osmosis—convince this baby to love sticky notes, organization, and color-coded charts.”

Cameron grinned, knowing me well enough to see that I needed to move on from the subject of Adriane and our parents for just a bit. “Did you forget something again?”

“Yes! I’m worried that I’m getting preggers brain and morphing into Kurt. That. Cannot. Happen.” I sliced both hands through the air. “I’m really worried about it. This is a legit fear.”

Cameron hugged me tight. “Don’t ever change, Sawyer. You are an amazing person. Don’t ever forget.”

“I’m trying not to. But Kurt has infected me. I’m not sure of all the side effects.”

We all laughed, leaving the darker subject of our parents and sister to the side for just a little bit.

Chapter Forty-Two

Sawyer

Looking through photo albums of my childhood was a little bittersweet. Seeing them with fresh eyes, I realized I’d never truly seen how distant my parents were. Cameron and I were always hugging with huge smiles on our faces. Mom and Dad appeared to be posing for a magazine article or photo shoot. Adriane was sour. Then Mattie had come into the picture and filled my life with more sunshine.

It was a miracle Cameron and I were somehow as functional as we were. As we were growing up, Nan had been a blessing. Sweet Nan. When I was twelve, she’d had a heart attack and things had never been the same.

I used to call Mattie my little ray of sunshine. There were so many pictures of us that Cameron had taken. Me giving her a bath, feeding her, reading her stories, teaching her how to ride a bike. They were endless. None of the pictures with Mattie included my parents. Adriane was only in a couple, looking disinterested while reading a book. She’d been near-genius according to her testing scores and had grown bored quickly.

I flipped the page and found a rare picture of her smiling. That had been a good day—we’d gone for snow cones. Is this part of her bipolar disorder? It explained a lot about her severe mood swings, especially directed at me. I wondered how long my parents knew. Did Adriane want to be committed?

I had so many questions, yet no answers. It had been nearly two weeks since my parents had disconnected their phone and we hadn’t heard a word from them.

It wasn’t until I’d distanced myself that the realization of how cold my childhood had been hit me. Yet I longed for my family in some ways, despite their cruel behavior. In time, I’d work it out.

My phone vibrated with a text from Knoah. For the last couple of weeks, she’d been checking in or stopping by daily to see how I was.

Knoah: Are you up for a visit?

Me: Sure. I’m in the office. Just use the key so I don’t have to get up. I’m being lazy.

A few minutes passed as I continued to flip through the photo album. At some point, I needed to stop torturing myself and focus on getting ready for Dylan. I was still handling the band, which kept me busy. Most days I worked at the studio while they worked on their upcoming album. Found was nearly complete and would be released soon. Since it was Saturday, I was taking it easy at the apartment. Kurt had taken George to the studio with him. I think the guys secretly missed him.

I heard the footsteps in the hallway before Knoah walked in the room, ready for the day in cute capris with a dressy shirt. “Hey, what are you doing?”