Tempting Perfection

“Kurt went to the studio. I decided to look at some family photos. It just feels like my entire childhood was a lie. And I’m trying to decipher what’s real and what’s not.”

Knoah sat next to me and brought her knees to her chest. “Tell me about it. I remember thinking, ‘How could my parents keep the story of how I came to be their child secret?’”

I took a deep breath. “How did you get past it? Your parents—both sets—are amazing. Mine are cold, lifeless fish who hid their daughter.”

She took a moment to answer. “One step at a time. That’s all you can do. My therapist helps a lot, though. For instance, I felt guilty for falling in love with Garrick and betraying Dylan even though he was dead. In my mind, there should only ever be one true love, and what I felt for Garrick was on a different level. Doesn’t make my love for Dylan less or discredit our time together. It simply means I was one of the lucky few who has had the love of two men.”

“And how would you look at my situation? How do I turn it around and make it positive?”

She rested her head on her knees and looked my way. “Maybe you were in your parents’ lives to give Mattie a wonderful childhood. If you’d left, what would her life have been like? You said your Nan didn’t have kids. Maybe she wasn’t meant to so she could give you all her love.”

“A trickle-down effect?”

“Maybe.”

I thought about it. Mattie’d had a wonderful childhood, and I’d been able to give her that. It made all the other things fall in line a little more. “I get it. That does help. It gives what I endured a purpose.”

“Exactly.”

It felt as though the gray cloud looming over me was starting to dissipate some.

Knoah took a deep breath. “Are you upset I didn’t tell you about your parents?”

Over the last two weeks, we’d tiptoed around the subject. “At first, I was hurt. But I get the reasons behind it. You thought they weren’t involved.”

“Yes. It didn’t feel right to accuse them when I thought they just needed money. Have you heard from them?”

I looked at the closed photo album, hating that they affected me this way. “No. Cameron said they disconnected their phone. He flew to Denver yesterday. Today he’s visiting Adriane. I’m not sure what to expect.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“I hope he gets some answers. It would be nice to have some sort of reasoning behind everything that’s happened. I’m angry. Adriane was terrible to me growing up. But I kept a smile on my face and moved forward. When Mattie came into the picture, she left me alone because she wanted me to take care of her kid.”

I put the photo album on the shelf. When I had dealt with my feelings more, I would decide on what to do with some of the pictures. I stretched and turned to Knoah. “Want some lunch?”

“Sure. First, can I get your opinion on some floor samples for the new house?”

“Oh, I definitely want to see.”

Knoah and Garrick’s new house was spectacular. At some point, Kurt and I needed to decide where we wanted to live. Knoah and I walked down the hall to their apartment. I would miss being so close when they moved out. I loved being Knoah’s neighbor.

Their apartment was relatively quiet when we walked in. “Where’s Garrick?”

“Working.”

“That man needs some excitement in his life. I may send a belly dancer to his office for his birthday.”

Knoah laughed. “I can’t imagine the look on his face. If you do, I have to be there to see it.”

“Of course.”

We walked

down the hall to the sitting room. Knoah opened the door, and a chorus of women yelled, “Surprise!”

Friends and family members stood in a semicircle with smiles on their faces.

“What is this?” I asked.