Fill Me (Rouse Me 3)

She nods. "Yeah."

"So what if you started seeing someone again?"

She blinks a tear away, her eyes on the floor. God, I wish I was really there. So I could hold her and kiss her and promise everything would be okay.

"It's not that I don't want to hear it," I say. "I do."

"Okay."

"You can talk to me. About anything. Tell me every ugly thought you have. I'll listen."

She shakes her head. "Not right now. I have to get through this first."

Dammit. We were off to such a great start. "Are you sure?"

"I'm going to go," she says. "I'm really tired."

"Ally..."

"It's not a big deal."

"You just said that you're drowning in doubt."

"But I'm used to it."

A long silence passes. She's sitting there, alone in that little apartment, the New York skyline filling the room with light. And I'm here, in our living room, nothing around me but grass and pavement.

"Do you remember what you said to me after I punched out Ryan?"

Finally she smiles. "That you're a hopeless idiot?"

"Besides that."

She shakes her head. She's still smiling. It's a happy memory, I guess.

"You told me I don't have to handle everything alone. That you want to be there to share the burden with me," I say.

"I do."

"So let me share this burden with you. I want to help you. It would make me so fucking happy to help you."

"I can't, Luke. Not right now. I can't. I'm sorry. But there's too much. I can't afford to fall apart now."

"But I'll be here to help put you back together," I say.

"You won't be here. You'll be in Los Angeles. You have no idea how bad it gets. You have no idea how far I can fall."

"But Ally--"

"I'm sorry, but I have previews and Laurie is visiting Monday. I have to get through this first."

"On one condition."

She groans. "Condition is a fancy way of saying promise."

"Fine. Then you have to make me a promise."

"I could hang up this call right now."