Fill Me (Rouse Me 3)

"You know I'm not good with the future."

"Do you see anything at all?"

I shake my head. "I can barely see getting through the next few months."

"You will." He brushes a hair behind my ear and brings his hand to my chin until our eyes are locked again. "And then we'll have the rest of our lives to spend together."

I bite my tongue. It should sound amazing. It does. But there's something about it, something that makes my knees weak and my grip shaky.

Luke pulls me closer, only for a moment. I close my eyes and press my lips into his, trying to pour everything I'm feeling into him. I can't explain it. I can't even figure it out myself. But I need him to know how I feel, how much I love him.

Our kiss breaks and he brings his gaze back to mine. It's sweet, sincere.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

I nod. I'd rather we never discussed if I was okay ag

ain. He runs his hands over my arms. It's such a gentle, sweet thing. I feel like I could melt. But I stand firm as he takes my hand and continues our walk. "What do you want to happen next year?"

"I don't know. I guess I want to survive."

"Ally, I know you have higher aspirations than that. You don't get to be a TV star or a Broadway actor by only aiming to survive."

"I'm sorry, honey, but I don't know."

"Well, let's try it. Close your eyes."

"This is silly."

"Do it anyway," he says. He pulls me towards the side of the path, under the shade of a blossoming tree. "Now, close your eyes."

I do as I'm instructed.

"We'll start with something easy. Think about tonight. What are you going to do?"

A smile creeps onto my lips. "You know what I'm going to do tonight."

"And I want you to imagine it vividly. Every touch, every kiss, every caress."

I'm sure I'm blushing.

"Do you see it?" he asks.

"Yes."

"Now, let's move a little farther. Let's try next week. Can you imagine what you'll do next Monday, on your next day off?"

"No," I say. I try hard to imagine where I'll be next week, but all I can see is that apartment. I'll probably be lying in bed, dead tired, barely able to read my Kindle.

"You're thinking something. I can tell."

"I'll be in the apartment reading."

"That's a start." His voice is deep and soft, but there's an urgency to it, like there's something he's getting at. I bite my lip. Of course there's something he's getting at.

I'm not an idiot. He's asking about my future, but really, he's asking about our future. If I think we'll be together forever.

There it is again, that ugly word. Forever. I hate forever.