I try to keep my smile mild even though my heart is jumping. "Sure." The words nip at me. I take another bite to swallow them down. Another. Another. Okay, my plate is nearly empty.
Last one.
Mal offers me what's left of his plate. He really is a gentleman. A caring guy. A loving guy.
He could love someone.
He could love me.
Maybe he does. Now. There's only one way to—
I swallow my tea even though it's too hot. "Do you want to talk about anything with your parents?"
"I don't know." His eyes go to the sliding glass doors. He watches waves crash into the beach. "Ethan said something smart."
"He seems smart."
"He certainly has his priorities in order."
I arch a brow.
"It's Vi then music."
"And by Vi you mean—" I make my first two fingers into a V and bring them to my mouth.
Mal bursts into a full-blown belly laugh. "Fuck. I haven't seen anyone do that since middle school."
"Really?"
He nods.
"I would have thought Joel—"
"He doesn't."
"But he does… ahem."
"Oh, he does." Mal laughs. He stares back into my eyes. "You do something to me. You know that?"
"What do I do?"
"I can't explain it." He looks back to his food. "You wake up this part of me that I didn't know existed."
I love you. Ahem. "So, um… what did Ethan say."
"Why fall apart today and again tomorrow? Why not pretend the world doesn't exist and save all the agony for tomorrow…?" He clears his throat. "I'm trying to forget about it but I'm doing a shit job."
"Can I help?"
"You are." He takes a long bite. "I'm terrified. That it will happen. That it won't. Either way, Mom is leaving me." His gaze shifts back to the coast. "I feel like an asshole."
"You are. But not about this."
He forces a smile but it's more sad than anything. "I'm scared my mom won't die tomorrow."
"You're scared she's going to go through all this and still choose to leave you."
"Maybe."