Kristina nodded. “Yeah. I told him everything.”
“And…it didn’t go over well?” Dressed in her sleep clothes, Kate wore a strappy royal blue camisole and a pair of satin sleep shorts. And even though Kristina was in a dress and heels, she felt rumpled next to Kate because of having gotten caught in the rain—twice. Not to mention being fucked up against a door while mostly still dressed.
Couldn’t forget that. Wouldn’t ever forget that.
“No,” Kristina said. “He said he doesn’t love me. Not like I love him. And he said he’s no good for me, and that he never will be.” Her breathing shuddered as she spoke, but she managed to get through the words without falling apart again, despite the fact that she was pretty sure someone had punched a hole through her chest and ripped out her heart.
“Well, shit, Kristina. I might have to agree with him. Because if he won’t even give you two a chance after the marathon sex session the other night and all the other things he’s initiated, then he isn’t any good for you. In fact, he’s a freaking bastard for doing this to you.”
“There’s more, too.” Kristina tugged her skirt down her cold legs.
Kate groaned. “I can already see I’m not gonna like this. But before you tell me, do you want to change into some dry clothes? You can borrow some sweats.”
“That sounds like heaven,” Kristina managed. A few minutes later, they were situated back on the couch, except this time the dry clothes warmed her on the outside, even if she was stone cold on the inside.
“Okay, let’s hear this ‘more’,” Kate said, her eyebrow arched.
Kristina blew out a long breath. “We slept together again.”
Kate’s brows cranked down. “Wait. Again? As in, tonight?” She slapped her hands against her thighs, and her eyes went wide. “Whoa. Wasn’t your date with Ethan tonight?”
Nodding, Kristina said, “Yes, yes, and yes.”
“Motherfucker. Tell me you initiated the sex,” Kate said, her cheeks going flush like they always did when something wound her up. “Because if he initiated the sex again, and then told you there was no chance for anything more between you, that’s some fucking bullshit.”
“It was sorta both of us. We were fighting about Ethan and then one thing led to another and he had me pinned against his apartment door. He told me to tell him to stop, and I said I didn’t want to. So he kissed me. And stuff.”
“And stuff?” Kate gave her a droll stare. “Stuff being you two had sex up against his door?”
“Pretty much.”
Her friend’s gaze narrowed. “Explain the part about fighting with Ethan. And how did that go, anyway?”
“He was great, honestly. But…” Kristina shrugged. “…I’m too far into this with Noah, and I just couldn’t get into him. I guess Noah saw me leaving Ethan’s apartment and he followed me down to my car. We went back up to his place to talk and—” Kate was going to flip her shit at this part. “—He asked me if I’d screwed Ethan. That started the fight.”
Kate threw out her hands. “Hold the damn phone. Noah actually asked you if you’d screwed the guy?” Kristina nodded. “I’m gonna freaking kill him. I swear to God.”
“Well, that’s how I felt, too. But somehow we ended up half naked with my thighs wrapped around his waist.” She smoothed her hands over her borrowed sweatpants. Maybe it made her a glutton for punishment, but she didn’t regret being with Noah again. She loved him too much for that, even if what they’d done hadn’t exactly been making love.
“That shit’s a shame because it’s freaking hot, but then he went and ruined it.”
“It was freaking hot,” Kristina said. “But, yeah.”
Kate grasped her hand. “I’m so sorry, honey. I really am. I know you’ve wanted this—him—for a long time now. But it sounds like maybe Noah’s as fucked-up as he says he is. In which case, you can’t fix him, you know?”
The thought of him being fucked-up…and unfixable…made Kristina’s throat go tight. It just broke her heart, not because she couldn’t have him, but because she hated that he was hurting. Even if he’d hurt her, too.
“No matter how magical your hooha is,” Kate said with a grin and a wink.
Surprisingly, Kristina managed a small laugh. Then she shook her head. “I don’t think I can go back. The thought of spending time with him but having to hold all this in, not being able to act on it or express it, not being able to touch him—just the idea of having to deny my emotions…it hurts. It hurts a lot.”
“Yeah,” Kate said, regret plain in her voice. “I get it.”
More of that pricking sensation at the backs of her eyes. “But doesn’t that mean I have to give him up completely? If he won’t let us try to be something more and I can’t go back to being just friends, what does that leave?”
Kate squeezed her hand. “It leaves almost twenty years of amazing memories that will never go away.”
A small sob caught in the back of Kristina’s throat. “I don’t want it to be over.”