"Goddamn it," he growled, shrugging from under her light grasp on his shoulder. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up, putting his head in his hands. His fingers trembled as he shoved them through his hair. Behind him, Gabrielle was silent; he turned and met her questioning gaze. "You haven't done anything wrong. You feel too right, and I have to... I can't get enough of you right now."
"It's okay."
"No. I shouldn't be with you like this, when I need..." You, his body answered. "Holy Christ, this is just no good."
He turned away again, about to get up off the bed.
"Lucan, if you're hungry... if you need blood..."
From behind him, she moved closer. Put her arm over his shoulder, her wrist hovering just under his chin.
"Jesus, don't offer it to me." Reflexively, he recoiled from her, like he would from poison. He got up, threw on his pants. Started pacing. "I'm not going to drink from you, Gabrielle."
"Why not?" She sounded hurt, rightfully confused. "You obviously need it. And I'm the only human around at the moment, so I guess you're stuck with me."
"That's not it." He shook his head, eyes squeezed closed to force the feral part of him to heel. "I can't do it. I won't bind you to me."
"What are you talking about? It's okay to screw me, but the thought of taking my blood turns your stomach?" She gave a sharp laugh. "My God. I can't believe I actually feel insulted over that."
"This isn't going to work," he said, furious at himself for digging them into a deeper hole because of his own lack of control around her. "This isn't going to come out right. I should have set things straight between us from the start."
"If you have something to tell me, I wish you would. I know you have a problem, Lucan. Pretty hard to miss it, after seeing you last night."
"That's not it." He cursed. "It's part of it. I don't want to hurt you. And by taking your blood, I will. Sooner or later, if you are bound to me in blood, I will hurt you."
"Bound to you," she said slowly. "How?"
"You bear the mark of a Breedmate, Gabrielle." He gestured toward her left shoulder. "It's there, just below your ear."
She frowned, her hand drifting up to the precise place where the diminutive teardrop and crescent moon rested on her skin. "This? It's a birthmark. I've had it ever since I can remember."
"Every Breedmate has borne the same mark somewhere on her body. Savannah and the other females have it. My own mother as well. You all do."
She had gone very still, now. Her voice was very small. "How long have you known this about me?"
"I saw it the first night I came to your apartment."
"When you took my cell phone pictures?"
"After," he said. "When I came back later, and you were sleeping in your bed."
Understanding dawned in her expression, a mix of surprise and emotional violation. "You were there. I thought I had dreamed you."
"You've never felt a part of the world you live in because it's not your world, Gabrielle. Your photographs, the way you're drawn to places that house vampires, your confusion over your feelings about blood and the compulsion to let it - these are all parts of who you truly are."
He could see her struggling to accept what she was hearing, and he hated that he wasn't able to make things easier. Might as well get everything out on the table and be done with it.
"One day, you'll find a worthy male and take him as your mate. He will drink from you alone, and you from him. Blood will bind the two of you as one. It's a sacred vow among our kind. One that I can't give you."
He might as well have slapped her from the look of injury on her pretty face. "You can't... or you won't?"
"Does it matter? I'm telling you that it's not going to happen because I won't permit it. If we share a blood bond, I will be drawn to you for as long as I have breath in my body and you in yours. You would never be free of me because the bond will compel me to seek you out wherever you run."
"Why do you think I would run from you?"
He exhaled dryly. "Because, one day, this thing I'm fighting is going to get me, and I can't bear the idea that you might be in my path when it does."
"You're talking about Bloodlust."