“Yes.”
“Oh, right. Well, in that case he goes up to the smallest guard and says, Tell me which is the door to freedom if you don't want to see the colour of your kidneys and incidentally I'm walking through it behind you, so if you're trying for the Mr. Clever Award just remember who's going through it first.'”
“No, no, no!”
“Sounds logical to me,” said Ridcully “Very good thinking.”
“But you haven't got a weapon!”
“Yes I have. I wrested it from the guard while he was considering the question,” said Casanunda.
“Clever,” said Ridcully. “Now that, Mr. Stibbons, is logical thought. You could learn a lot from this man-”
“-dwarf-”
“-sorry, dwarf. He doesn't go on about parasite universes all the time.”
“Parallel!” snapped Ponder, who had developed a very strong suspicion that Ridcully was getting it wrong on purpose.
“Which ones are the parasite ones, then?”
“There aren't any! I mean, there aren't any, Archchancellor.[15] Parallel universes, I said. Universes where things didn't happen like-” He hesitated. “Well, you know that girl?”
“What girl?”
“The girl you wanted to marry?”
“How'd you know that?”
“You were talking about her just after lunch.”
“Was I? More fool me. Well, what about her?”
“Well. . . in a way, you did marry her,” said Ponder.
Ridcully shook his head. “Nope. Pretty certain I didn't. You remember that sort of thing.”
“Ah, but not in this universe-”
The Librarian opened one eye.
“You suggestin' I nipped into some other universe to get married?” said Ridcully.
“No! I mean, you got married in that universe and not in this universe,” said Ponder.
“Did I? What? A proper ceremony and everything?”
“Yes!”
“Hmm.” Ridcully stroked his beard. “You sure?”
“Certain, Archchancellor.”
“My word! I never knew that.”
Ponder felt he was getting somewhere.
“So-”