"Those lads had old Burleigh & Stronginthearm weapons, Mister Skimmer. Made in Ankh-Morpork. So did the men on the gate. Trade, Mister Skimmer. Isn"t that part of what diplomacy is all about? You go back and talk to whoever"s in the black carriage, and then you"d better get them to lend you a horse, because I reckon we"ll have gone a little way by then."
"You could perhaps wait - " .
"Wouldn"t dream of it."
In fact the coach was outside the gates of the town before Skimmer caught up with it again.
"There will not be a problem with either of your requests," he panted, and for a moment there appeared to be a touch of admiration in his expression.
"Good man. Tell Detritus to turn round again, will you?"
"You"re grinning, Sam," said Sybil as Vimes sat back.
"I was just thinking that I could take to the diplomatic life," said Vimes.
"There is something else," said Inigo, getting into the coach. "There"s some... historical artifact owned by the dwarfs, and there"s a rumour - "
"How long ago was the Scone of Stone stolen?"
Inigo"s mouth stayed open. Then he shut it and his eyes narrowed.
"How in the world did you know that, your grace? Mmph?"
"By the pricking of my thumbs," said Vimes, his face carefully blank. "I"ve got very odd thumbs, when it comes to pricking."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes."
Dogs had a much easier sex life than humans, Gaspode decided. That was something to look forward to, if he ever managed to have one.
It wasn"t going to start here, that was definite. The female wolves snapped at him if he came too close, and they weren"t just warnings, either. He was having to be very careful where he trod.
The really odd thing about human sex, though, was the way it went on even when people were fully clothed and sitting on opposite sides of a fire. It was in the things they said and did not say, the way they looked at one another and looked away.
The packs had changed again overnight. The mountains were higher, the snow was crisper. Most of the wolves were sitting at some distance from the fire Carrot had made - just enough distance, in fact, to establish that they were proud, wild creatures who didn"t have to rely on this sort of thing, but close enough to get the benefit.
And then there was Gavin, sitting a little way off, turning to look from one to the other.
"Gavin"s people hate my family," Angua was saying. "I told you, it"s always wolves who suffer when werewolves get too powerful. Werewolves are smarter at escaping from hunters. That"s why wolves much prefer vampires. Vampires leave them alone. Werewolves sometimes hunt wolves."
"I"m surprised," said Carrot.
Angua shrugged. "Why? They hunt humans, don"t they? We"re not nice people, Carrot. We"re all pretty dreadful. But my brother Wolfgang is something special. Father"s frightened of him and so"s Mother if she"d only admit it, but she thinks he"ll make the clan powerful so she indulges him.
He drove my other brother away and he killed my sister."
"How - ?"
"He said it was an accident. Poor little Elsa. She was a yennork, just like Andrei. That"s a werewolf that doesn"t change, you know? I"m sure I"ve mentioned it. Our family throws them up from time to time. Wolfgang and I were the only classic bi-morphs in the litter. Elsa looked human all the time, even at full moon. Andrei was always a wolf."
"You mean you had a human sister and a wolf brother?"
"No, Carrot. They were both werewolves. But the, well, the little... switch... inside them didn"t work. Do you understand? They stayed the same shape. In the old days the clan would kill off a yennork quickly, and Wolfgang is a traditionalist when it comes to nastiness. He says they made the blood impure. You see, a yennork would go off and be a human or be a wolf but they"d still be carrying the werewolf blood, and then they"d marry and have children... or pups... and, well, that"s where the fairytale monsters come from. People with a bit of wolf and wolves with that extra capacity for violence that is so very human." She sighed and glanced momentarily at Gavin. "But Elsa was harmless. After that, Andrei didn"t wait for it to happen to him. He"s a sheepdog over in Borogravia now. Doing well, I hear. Wins championships," she added sourly.
She poked the fire aimlessly. "Wolfgang"s got to be stopped. He"s plotting something with some of the dwarfs. They meet in the forest, Gavin says." ;It"s not too bad," he said. "Dey say it"d be a good idea to make an early start, sir."
"I bet they do," said Vimes, and thought: they don"t want someone like me hanging around. There"s no knowing who"ll die next.