Several faces he vaguely recalled from last night were missing now. Presumably some travellers had started off even earlier, which meant that the news was probably running ahead of him. He"d staggered in, covered in blood and mud, carrying a crossbow and, d"you know, when they went back to look there were seven dead men. By the time that sort of story had gone ten miles he"d be carrying an axe as well, and make that thirty dead men and a dog.
The diplomatic career had certainly got off to a good start, eh?
As they got into the coach he saw the little dart stuck in the door jamb. It was metallic, with metal fins, and overall had a look of speed, as if, when you touched it, you"d burn your fingers.
He walked around to the back of the coach. There was another, much larger arrow high in the woodwork.
"They tried to catch up with you on the upgrade," said Inigo, behind him.
"You killed them."
"Some got away."
"I"m surprised."
"I"ve only got one pair of hands, your grace."
Vimes glanced up at the inn sign. Crudely painted on the boards was a large red head, complete with trunk and tusks.
"This is the Inn of the Fifth Elephant," said Inigo. "You left the law behind when we passed Lancre, your grace. Here it"s the lore. What you keep is what you can. What"s yours is what you fight for. The fittest survive."
"Ankh-Morpork is pretty lawless too, Mister Skimmer."
"Ankh-Morpork has many laws. It"s just that people don"t obey them. And that, your grace, is quite a different bowl of fat, mmhm, mmph."
They set off in convoy. Detritus sat on the roof of the leading coach, which lacked a door and most of one side. The view was flat and white, a featureless expanse of snow.
After a while they passed a clacks tower. Burn marks on one side of the stone base suggested that someone had thought that no news was good news, but the semaphore shutters, were clacking and twinkling in the light.
"The whole world is watching," said Vimes.
"But it"s never cared," said Skimmer. "Up until now. And now it wants to rip the top off the country and take what"s underneath, mmph, mmhm."
Ah, thought Vimes, our killer clerk does have more than one emotion.
"Ankh-Morpork has always tried to get on well with other nations," said Sybil. "Well... these days, at least."
"I don"t think we exactly try, dear," said Vimes. "It"s just that we found that - Why"re we stopping?"
He pulled down the window. "What"s happening, sergeant?"
"Waiting for dese dwarfs, sir," the troll called down.
Several hundred dwarfs, four abreast, were trotting across the white plain towards them. There was, Vimes thought, something very determined about them.
"Detritus?"
"Yessir?"
"Try not to look too troll-like, will you?"
"Tryin" like hell, sir."
The column was abreast of them before someone barked the command to halt. A dwarf detached himself from the rest and walked over to the coach.
"Ta"grdzk?!" he bellowed.
"Would you like me to take care of this, your grace?" said Inigo.