The Truth (Discworld 25)

'Yes, but it's only one sheet. And it's made-up stuff.'

'Is it? Even the one about the snake?'

'I'd bet a thousand dollars.' William remembered that the smaller print had said this had happened in Lancre. He revised his estimate. 'I'd bet at least a hundred dollars.'

'That's not the worst of it,' said the dwarf. 'You'd better come in.'

Inside the press was creaking away, but most of the dwarfs were idle. ;I've... heard rumours,' said William. He'd seen the sergeant in the streets. She had a habit of staring a bit too sharply at people, he'd considered.

'And?'

'Look, I can see this is worrying you,' said William. 'Please let me assure you that Corporal Nobbs's secret is safe with me.'

No one spoke. William congratulated himself. It had been a shot in the dark, but he could tell by Sergeant Angua's face that he'd won this one. It seemed to have shut down, locking away all expression.

'We don't often talk about Corporal Nobbs's species,' said Vimes, after a while. 'I would deem it a small favour if you would take the same approach.'

'Yes, sir. So could I ask you why you're having me watched?'

'I am?'

The gargoyles. Everyone knows a lot of them work for the Watch these days.'

'We're not watching you. We're watching to see what happens to you,' said Sergeant Angua.

'Because of this,' said Vimes, slapping the newspaper.

'But I'm not doing anything wrong,' said William.

'No, it may just be you're not doing anything illegal,' said Vimes. 'Although you're coming damn close. Other people do not have my kind and understanding disposition, though. All I ask is that you try not to bleed all over the street.'

'I'll try.'

'And don't write that down.'

'Fine.'

'And don't write down that I said don't write that down.'

'Okay. Can I write down that you said that I shouldn't write down that you said--' William stopped. The mountain was rumbling. 'Only joking.'

'Haha. And no tapping my officers for information.'

'And no giving dog biscuits to Corporal Nobbs,' said Sergeant Angua. She walked around behind Vimes and peered over his shoulder. "The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret"?'

'Printer's error,' said William shortly. 'Anything else I shouldn't do, commander?'

'Just don't get in the way.'

'I'll make a-- I'll remember,' said William. 'But, if you don't mind my asking, what's in it for me?'

Tm Commander of the Watch and I'm asking you politely.'

'And that's it?'

'I could ask you impolitely, Mr de Worde.' Vimes sighed. 'Look, can you see things my way? A crime has been committed. The Guilds are in an uproar. You've heard of too many chiefs? Well, right now there's a hundred many chiefs. I've Captain Carrot and a lot of men I really can't spare guarding the Oblong Office and the rest of the clerks, which means I'm short-handed everywhere else. I've got to deal with all this and... actively pursue & state of non-bafflement. I've got Vetinari in the cells. And Drumknolt, too--'

'But wasn't he the victim, sir?'