'Yes, but then people won't buy the paper,' said Sacharissa. 'And they ought to buy our paper, because it's got real news in it.'
The news in the Inquirer looks more interesting, I have to admit,' said Goodmountain.
That's because it doesn't actually have to have any facts in it!' she snapped. 'Now, I don't mind going back to a dollar a day and Otto says he'd work for half a dollar if he can go on living in the cellar.'
William was still staring at nothing. 'Apart from the truth,' he said in a distant voice, 'what have we got that the Guild hasn't got? Can we print faster?'
'One press against three? No,' said Goodmountain. 'But I bet we can set type faster.'
'And that means... ?'
'We can probably beat them in getting the first paper on to the street.'
'O-kay. That might help. Sacharissa, do you know anyone who wants a job?'
'Know? Haven't you been looking at the letters?'
'Not as such
'Lots of people want a job! This is Ankh-Morpork!'
'All right, find the three letters with the fewest spelling mistakes and send Rocky round to hire the writers.'
'One of them was Mr Bendy,' Sacharissa warned. 'He wants more work. Not many interesting people are dying. Did you know he attends meetings for fun and very carefully writes down everything that's said?'
'Does he do it accurately?'
'I'm sure he does. He's exactly that sort of person. But I don't think we've got the space--'
Tomorrow morning we'll go to four pages. Don't look like that. I've got more stuff about Vetinari, and we've got, oh, twelve hours to get some paper,'
'I told you, King won't sell us any more paper at a decent price,' said Goodmountain.
There's a story right there, then,' said William.
'I mean--'
'Yes, I know. I've got some stuff to write, and then you and I will go to see him. Oh, and send someone to the semaphore tower, will you? I want to send a clacks to the King of Lancre. I think I met him once.'
'Clacks cost money. Lots of money.'
'Do it anyway. We'll find the money somehow,' William leaned over towards the cellar ladder. 'Otto?'
The vampire emerged to waist height. He was holding a half-dismantled iconograph in his hand.
'Vot can I do for you?'
'Can you think of anything extra we can do to sell more papers?'
'Vot do you vant now? Pictures that jump out of zer page? Pictures zat talk? Pictures vhere zer eyes follow you around zer room?'
There's no need to take offence,' said William. 'It wasn't as if I asked for colour or anything--'
'Colour?' said the vampire. 'Is that all? Colour iss easy-peasy. How soon do you vant it?'
'Can't be done,' said Goodmountain firmly.
'Oh, zo you say? Is there somevhere here that makes coloured glass?'