'Yeah, I know the dwarf who runs the stained-glass works in Phedre Road,' said Goodmountain. 'They do hundreds of shades, but--'
'I vish to see samples right now. And of inks, too. You can get coloured inks alzo?'
'That's easy,' said the dwarf, 'but you'd need hundreds of different ones... wouldn't you?'
'No, ziss is not so. I vill make you a list of vot I reqvire. I cannot promise a Burleigh & Ztronginzerarm job first cat out of zer bag, off course. I mean you should not ask me for zer subtle play of light on autumn leafs or anyzing like zat. But zomething with stronk shades should be fine. Zis vill be okay?'
'It'd be amazing.'
'Zank you.'
William stood up. 'And now,' he said, 'let's go and see the King of the Golden River.'
'I've always been puzzled why people call him that,' said Sacharissa. 'I mean, there's no river of gold around here, is there?'
'Gentlemen.'
Mr Slant was waiting in the hall of the empty house. He stood up when the New Firm entered and clutched his briefcase. He looked as if he was in an unusually bad temper.
'Where have you been?'
'Getting a bite, Mr Slant. You didn't turn up this morning, and Mr Tulip gets hungry.'
'I told you to maintain a very low profile.'
'Mr Tulip isn't good at low profiles. Anyway, it all went off well. You must have heard. Oh, we nearly got killed because you didn't tell us a lot of stuff, and that's going to cost you but, hey, who cares about us? What's the problem?'
Mr Slant glared at them. 'My time is valuable, Mr Pin. So I will not spin this out. What did you do with the dog?'
'No one said anything to us about that dog,' said Mr Tulip, and Mr Pin knew he'd got the tone wrong.
'Ah, so you encountered the dog,' said Mr Slant. 'Where is it?'
'Gone. Ran off. Bit our --ing legs and ran off.'
Mr Slant sighed. It was like the wind from an ancient tomb.
'I did tell you that the Watch has a werewolf on the staff,' he said.
'Well? So what?' said Mr Pin.
'A werewolf would have no difficulty in talking to a dog.'
'What? You're telling us people will listen to a dog?' said Mr Pin.
'Unfortunately, yes,' said Mr Slant. 'A dog has got personality. Personality counts for a lot. And the legal precedents are clear. In the history of this city, gentlemen, we have put on trial at various times seven pigs, a tribe of rats, four horses, one flea and a swarm of bees. Last year a parrot was allowed as a prosecution witness in a serious murder case, and I had to arrange a witness protection scheme for it. I believe it is now pretending to be a very large budgerigar a long way away.' Mr Slant shook his head. 'Animals, alas, have their place in a court of law. There are all kinds of objections that could be made but the point is, Mr Pin, that Commander Vimes will build a case on it. He will start questioning... people. He already knows things are not right, but he has to work within the bounds of proof and evidence, and he has neither. If he finds the dog, I think things will unravel.'
'Slip him a few thousand dollars,' said Mr Pin. 'That always works with watchmen.'
'I believe that the last person who tried to bribe Vimes still doesn't have full use of one of his fingers,' said Mr Slant.
'We did everything you --ing told us!' shouted Mr Tulip, pointing a sausage-thick finger.
Mr Slant looked him up and down, as if seeing him for the first time.
'"Kill the Cook!!!"' he said. 'How amusing. However, I understood that we were employing professionals.'
Mr Pin had seen this one coming and once again caught Mr Tulip's fist in mid-air, being momentarily lifted off his feet.