To allow Colton back into my life again simply because he says he’s changed has the potential to undermine all the painstaking progress I’ve made. I don’t understand what it is about him that draws me in almost against my own will. If I’m being truthful with myself, there’s always been something about him.
Instead of placing the phone on the nightstand where it belongs, I carefully type out a response.
I had a good time, too.
Instead of addressing the second part of the message, I ignore it.
As soon as I press send, another text from him pops up within seconds.
I meant everything I said, Lys.
I release the pent-up breath from my lungs as everything softens inside me. He knows the nickname pulls at my heartstrings, and he’s using it against me.
I need time.
Then that’s what I’ll give you.
I chew my lower lip and set the phone down before turning my back to it.
Another hour drags by, and I’m still wide awake. Even though I’m exhausted from a long week of classes, dancing, and teaching, I can’t turn off the thoughts that churn through my head. I’m unable to stop my body from craving the one guy who forced me to my limits.
I roll over and snatch up the phone. Even though I know it’s a mistake, I type out a message and hit send. My heart riots painfully under my breast as I wait for a response. One minute slowly stretches into two, and still, there’s no answer. For all I know, he fell asleep and won’t get it until the morning. A fresh wave of humiliation crashes over me. I should have held strong and not given in to temptation.
Ugh.
Irritated with myself, I drop the phone on the nightstand and roll over.
It’s the light knocking on the apartment door that has my eyes springing open. My heart leaps as I throw off the covers and roll from the bed, padding through the living room before arriving at the entryway. It’s only when I reach for the lock that I hesitate and consider the consequences of my actions.
Is this truly what I want?
To allow Colton in again?
Not just the apartment but my heart?
My life?
It takes effort to still the nerves that churn inside my belly. Maybe I’m uncertain if that’s the best course of action, but something is urging me to take a cautious step in that direction.
As I twist the lock and open the door, I’m hit with a punch of arousal. “Hi.”
The corners of his lips lift as he echoes the sentiment, “Hey.”
His blond hair is tousled, and I’m ridiculously tempted to plow my fingers through the thick strands that are cut longer on top and shaved on the sides. A Wesley Wildcats T-shirt stretches across his chest as black athletic shorts hang loosely from lean hips.
When I remain silent, too busy eating him up with my eyes, he asks, “Can I come in?”
I blink out of those thoughts as a punch of heat hits my cheeks. The most I can hope for is that it’s too dark inside the apartment for him to witness the effect he has on me. The last thing I want to do is stroke his already inflated ego or give him any more confidence.
Especially where I’m concerned.
In silence, I step aside, allowing him entrance. As he brushes against me, the familiar woodsy scent from earlier this evening wafts around me, cocooning me in the past. In the memories I still hold dear. All I want to do is close my eyes and inhale a big breath of him.
Instead, I lock the apartment door.
If Mia were here, there’s no way I would be doing this. My bestie cautioned me about getting together with him the first time. She was afraid that he would hurt me and sadly, she wasn’t mistaken.
A groan bubbles up in my throat as I reevaluate the merits of my decision. Let’s face it, choices made after midnight are generally questionable by nature. Maybe I haven’t been drinking, but this falls neatly into that category.
I’ve been hesitant to tell Mia what’s been going on with Colton. Mostly because I’ve been too busy denying that I still have feelings for him. If I utter the words out loud, that will make them real. Even now, as he stands inside my apartment at one o’clock in the morning, I’m unsure if I’m ready to take that giant leap.
Whether he realizes it or not, this is the guy who changed everything for me. My life can be broken up into two segments—a before Colton and after Colton. I’m more cautious than I once was. What this guy taught me is that I’m not as bulletproof as I once suspected.
And yet, that’s still not enough to stop me from grabbing his hand when he hesitates in the dining room. A sizzle of awareness shoots through me at the innocuous contact. The energy we always seem to generate is part of the attraction. I’m like a moth to a flickering flame that will ultimately lead to its demise. That knowledge isn’t nearly enough to stop the onslaught of emotions from hurtling to the surface.