“She’s better off without me,” I snap. “Stop worrying about Jade and focus on the fact I’m kicking your ass in your own game.”
He chuckles, tapping the buttons with fury and a look of determination on his face. I’ve know Jamie for so long it’s like we’re brothers. We don’t share the same bond he does with the other guys in the house, though our love of nerdy things makes it easier for him to talk through things he can’t with the other guys.
“Just open the window and tell her to go home then. She’s embarrassing herself… and you. She was over here every day for weeks, and then all of a sudden you push her away? It doesn’t make sense.”
I let out a sigh and drop the controller on the floor. “Because I love her. I’m doing this for her own benefit.”
Jamie cocks an eyebrow at me. “You think you’re saving her?”
“Yeah… actually, I do.”
We stare at each for a few seconds before Jade throws something at the window, this time much harder than the last.
“What the fuck, Kade?” Jamie presses his palm to the carpet and gets up to walk over to the window. “Stop being a pussy and get your ass downstairs right the fuck now.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Fuck you, J. I don’t take orders from you.”
He folds his arms across his chest and glares at me from across the room. “You will, if you want a job on my team.”
I close the distance between us, only a few feet from the window.
Jamie glances over his shoulder to peek out the curtains. “Just go talk to her. If you don’t want to be with her, then go tell her, so she can move on with her life.”
“I do want to be with her.”
“Then what are you doing up here playing video games with me? For someone smart, you make so many stupid decisions.”
“Sorry, but we all can’t be billionaires born with silver spoons in our mouths. Some of us have to do the hard shit to survive.”
The second the words leave my mouth I know I’ve made another mistake. Jamie has been nothing but a good friend to me since we were kids. He doesn’t deserve my anger. Neither does Jade.
What the fuck is wrong with me? It’s like I can’t keep my shit together anymore. My entire life is unraveling.
“I can’t believe you’d say something like that to me.” He frowns, disappointment scrolling across his face. “After everything I’ve done for you. What my dad has done for you.” Jamie shakes his head, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, looking away from me. “I never once thought of you as a charity case because you were poor. I’ve never treated you any differently. My dad grew up even worse off than you. You know that.”
I step forward, and he dodges me. “I’m sorry, J. I didn’t mean it. I’m fucked up. All I can think about is everything I’ve lost, and I keep taking it out on the wrong people.”
With that, he finally meets my gaze, his blue eyes so sad they mirror mine. “For as long as I’ve known you, we’ve been like family. You’re really fucking your life up, Killian. I don’t know what to do for you. Jade’s a good girl, and whether she’s rich or not is irrelevant. It doesn’t make you less worthy of her love. We all care about you. Everyone in this house. And you keep pushing us away. Why? Because our circumstances are different?”
“All of you have a choice,” I growl, my head somewhat fuzzy from the pain medication I took an hour ago. “You could go pro, and you’ve decided to give that up to go work for your dad. I’d fucking kill to be you right now.” I hold up my arm in the cast. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I risked everything to be here, and for what?”
“You did that to yourself, Killian. Don’t blame everyone else. You made the decision to steal cars for money.”
“Because I don’t have any,” I shout not meaning to be so cruel. Jamie brushes past me, and I grab his arm to stop him. “I’m sorry. Fuck! I keep messing shit up.”
Instead of pushing me away, he hooks his arm around my back and pulls me closer. He pats my back with his palm, slamming hard enough that I stumble forward. “You’ll get through this. But you need to get your head out of your ass.”
Another crack on my window steels both of our attention in that direction.
“Man up already,” Jamie hisses. “Either talk to Jade or I will.”
I nod, and he moves toward the door. On his way out of my room, he steals the bottle of pills from my desk.