f Shakespeare for Christmas, and a gorgeous porcelain doll for her sixth natal day.
She burst into tears when she read the note that accompanied the red-haired, brown-eyed doll. Please accept this token of my esteem and my sincerest apologies. I know you no longer play with dolls, but I remembered that you desperately wanted one for your sixth natal day and I was too ignorant and arrogant at the time to purchase it for you. Please forgive me for not realizing how much you meant to me and how much you will always mean to me. Jays.
She didn't think there was anything else he could give her that would touch her heart as much as that doll and his note, until she answered a knock on the door and found Jarrod's butler standing in the doorway.
"I'm Henderson," he said. "London butler to the Marquess of Shepherdston."
"Yes, I know."
"I have a delivery for Miss Eckersley," he said. "I'm Miss Eckersley," she answered. "Follow me." He turned and walked to the suite of rooms next door to hers. Sarah followed.
"Before I open the door, miss, please allow me to apologize for my rudeness the other evening," Henderson said.
Sarah blushed. "Please don't mention it, Mr. Henderson," she said. "You had every right to be suspect of my outrageous behavior. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, for it was never my intent to cause consternation to Lord Shepherdston's staff." Her brown eyes twinkled as she added, "Only to Lord Shepherdston."
Henderson forgot himself long enough to smile. "Then, I congratulate you, miss, for you've succeeded far beyond your wildest dreams." He opened the door and motioned for her to precede him, then closed the door behind her.
"I've a delivery for Miss Eckersley."
Sarah turned at the sound of Jarrod's voice. He stood in the doorway between a sitting room and a bedchamber, wearing a black traveling cloak that covered him from shoulders to midway down his polished black boots.
"I'm Miss Eckersley."
"This is for you, miss." He reached in the pocket of his cape and drew out a small black velvet box and offered it to her.
Sarah's hands shook when she opened it. "Oh, Jarrod," she gasped when the opened lid revealed a single flawless heart-shaped diamond set in a gold ring. It wasn't a huge stone by the ton's standards, but the heart shape and the high quality of the diamond made it extraordinary. The fact that Jarrod was offering it to her made it priceless.
Without saying a word, Jarrod handed her a cream-colored envelope engraved with his seal.
Sarah handed Jarrod the ring as she tore open the envelope and read what he'd written: Please accept this token of my esteem and my sincerest apologies for always taking and never giving. I love you, Sarah. I will always love you. And I will always regret that it took me so long to realize it. Will you do me the honor of becoming my marchioness?
Tears sparkled on her lashes and ran down her cheeks when she looked up from the note, but she was smiling and Jarrod took that to be a good sign.
"No."
Jarrod was momentarily stunned. But he should have known Sarah wouldn't make it easy for him. Not this time. Not after last night. "Why not?"
"This is all too overwhelming. And your decision to court me is much too sudden," Sarah told him. "I need time to consider it."
"Sudden?" Jarrod burst out laughing. "You've been courting me for nearly eighteen years! How can this be too sudden?"
"What's sudden is that now you're attempting to court me."
"This is more than an attempt," he told her. "For now, I am courting you — in earnest." Jarrod looked at her.
"Why?" she demanded. "Because I know about your precious league? Because you think you can purchase my trust with magnificent gifts? Or is this your way of keeping your promise to Aunt Etta and Lord Mayhew and absolving your guilt because my name has been bandied about White's because of your duel and your wager with Dunbridge?"
"No."
"Then, tell me, Jarrod, why are you proposing to me today instead of yesterday. Why now?"
"Because I didn't realize I loved you yesterday!" he exclaimed. "I was too arrogant and stupid to realize I loved you yesterday. I only realized it this morning when I thought it was too late." He stared into her eyes. "But I do love you, Sarah," he said. "I love you with all my heart. I love you because the world is a better place when I'm with you. Because I find myself laughing and smiling and thinking of things I'd like to tell you at the oddest moments. Because you love me warts and all and because you make me feel there's nothing in the world I can't accomplish so long as I have you. Even when I'm trembling in my boots at the thought of marriage, I know I want you beside me for the rest of my life. I want to be your husband as well as your lover and I want you to share my name as well as my bed. I want you to spend your life with me and I want us to sit at home in the evenings and think about the sexes and names of our unborn children." He took a deep breath. "My mother murdered my father and the housekeeper when I was sixteen, then turned the gun on herself. She committed an act of madness and before she died, she told me that I look after her side of the family." He closed his eyes, then opened them again and stared down at Sarah. "I swore never to marry. Never to lose my heart or take the risk of passing that madness on to my children. I swore that the Shepherdston and Blackheath lines would die with me because I was afraid that love and marriage had caused it. But I've learned that what my parents had wasn't love. It was something else. Something twisted and dark that had no place in a loving marriage. I'm not afraid of the dark anymore, Sarah. You showed me what love is, and now, I can't imagine my life without you, because I want to learn more about love and I want to share everything I learn with you." He sighed. "I didn't intend my gifts as bribes. I wasn't trying to purchase your love or your loyalty. I've always had those precious gifts. I was only trying to give you the moon and the stars and my heart." He took the ring out of the box and dropped to one knee. "Will you marry me and make something of this man who is hardly good enough to be your husband and lover?" She nodded.
"Say it, please," he begged.
"It's the least I can do."
"Sarah…"