Tonight, though? Tonight, I forgot about power dynamics. I forgot to play or that control even existed. Because the sex was so good, and I was so into it that I barely had time to catch my breath, much less plot out what my next move should be. And that sort of freedom—that sort of ease, of comfort—is something I’ve never felt before with another person.
I felt connected with Samuel during sex without being worried about keeping my guard up. I felt appreciated for who I was in the moment. Not who I could be or should be.
He adores me for who I am.
Against my better judgment, I’m falling in love with Samuel Beauregard.
Not only that, I told him as much on that bearskin rug in front of the fire. Granted, I didn’t say the words out loud. But he knew, and I knew, and now it’s not only my career in his hands, but my heart too.
I want him. I want to be with him.
I am so fucked it’s not even funny. Although having sex on a bearskin rug in front of a roaring fire is a cliché for a reason. It is awesome.
The worst slash best part? I’m pretty damn sure Samuel’s falling for me too. He didn’t say so either, not explicitly. But there was a tenderness in his lovemaking, an earnestness in his eyes, that I know he wanted me to notice. My insides do a happy dance at the idea that we are in love. My pussy clenches, and I can tell I’m already wet.
I start to panic.
Putting my hand on my forehead, I turn my head a little on the pillow. I can just make out the slumbering shadow of Samuel’s massive body. He breathes deeply, evenly, making my rapid, shallow breaths sound all the more distressed. Turning away, I reach for my phone on the nightstand. It’s 1:08 AM.
I pull up my chat app because I don’t know what else to do. Blue hasn’t sent me a message since I cancelled. I can’t tell if I’m relieved or bummed he hasn’t reached out since. I feel messy inside. Stirred up and swirling.
“Hey,” Samuel says in a sleep-roughed voice, making me jump.
I turn back to him. My eyes have adjusted to the darkness so I can see his face now. The swollen fullness of his lips makes my heart twist.
“Hi.”
“You okay?”
“No.”
He furrows his brow. “Are you hurting?”
“I’m a little sore, but nothing too bad.”
“Can I get you anything? Tylenol?”
Christ, why does he have to care so much? “That would be great, yeah.”
He sits up and turns on the light beside the bed. The muscles in his back and butt flex as he stands. He’s gloriously naked, and when he turns toward the bathroom, I can see he’s fully, unashamedly erect.
I want.
Samuel returns with the Tylenol, a glass of water, and some lube.
“The lube’s not for that,” he says, handing me the water and Tylenol. “It’s a little cooling, you know? Thought it might soothe your soreness.”
He’s not wrong. I gulp the medicine, grateful to have some water too. “All right.”
I figure he’ll pass the lube and let me apply it. But instead, he makes his way around the bed and sits beside me, erect penis and all, and squeezes a good bit of lube onto his fingers.
Sensation spikes through my clit at the image of him touching me.
“I can do it,” I say.
He cocks his head. “Let me? I’ll be gentle, I promise.”
I love how he looks out for me.
“I know,” I say, knowing exactly where this is headed. “All right.”
I shouldn’t go for round two. Actually, I should get my ass out of Samuel’s bed and go home to process what’s going down between us.
But I want him too badly. I need him to hold me and love me, if only for tonight.
Because let’s be real, maybe tonight is all we have. I can love Samuel and be loved by him here in the privacy of his exquisite home, but when we’re back at the barn surrounded by employees and expectations—I mean, that’s a totally different scenario.
But for tonight, I can play pretend. The rest of the world doesn’t exist. It’s just him and me until forever. There will be no fallout, only orgasms and great food.
Samuel pulls back the covers. He’s naked, and I’m naked, and I’m parting my legs for him, I’m watching with bated breath as he leans down and kisses my stomach before reaching between my thighs.
He touches me, and I jump, the desire in my core tightening. His first two fingers glide down my slit, making my breath catch, and his nostrils flare again.
“Did you wake up this wet?”
The lube does feel nice, but that doesn’t stop my heart from swelling.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It is when you need me, but you don’t say anything,” he replies, meeting my eyes. Shit, he’s angry. “Why didn’t you tell me? We don’t have to fuck. I can get you off a million other ways, Em.”