“Alright. Well, as you know, your mom and I were college sweethearts. We got married at twenty-one. People told us we were too young, but we didn’t listen.” He looked away for a moment, and a wistful smile grew on his face. “She was the most beautiful girl on campus.” He shook his head. “Anyway, this is supposed to be the abbreviated version, so I’ll jump forward a few years. Your mom worked a lot while I was in med school. Then when I graduated and you girls came along, she stayed home, and I worked a lot. Over the years, we sort of drifted apart. At first, we had you girls to bind us together. I’d come home, and your mom would catch me up on the happenings of you and your sister. But as the years passed, that became the only thing we discussed. So when you guys got a little bit older and started to spend time with your friends at sleepovers and whatnot, we felt like strangers. Sometimes we’d sit at the kitchen table for dinner, just the two of us, and have nothing to say, even though we’d spent the entire day apart. That led to frustration, and frustration led to arguing. I’m sure you remember the argument part. It was almost like we’d grown up together, yet never learned how to communicate.”
“What about Kayla?”
Dad sighed again. “I know you think Kayla was the cause of my breakup with your mom, but she really wasn’t—nothing on her part, anyway. I swear, God as my witness, I never cheated on your mother—at least not in the physical sense. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t grow too close to other women during those tough years in a non-physical way. Looking back, I think I was seeking the emotional connection your mom and I were missing. I should have worked on that with her instead of finding it with others. And I own that. In a relationship, cheating isn’t just a physical connection. I developed feelings for Kayla. At the time, they weren’t reciprocated. She had no idea. She was just so easy to talk to at work. And once that happened, I realized things weren’t right with your mom and me. I had a lot of guilt, but I was also a selfish asshole. So rather than invest the time to try to fix what had gone wrong with your mother, I took the easy way out.”
Wow. I don’t know what I’d expected him to say, but that wasn’t it. Though it did feel like the truth.
Dad shook his head, and his eyes filled with emotion. “I’m sorry I let you down. I should have been a better man.”
I took his hand in mine. “You’re human. And when you left, I don’t think I understood that. In my eyes, you were my father, not an actual person, if that makes any sense. I was sixteen and didn’t understand boys yet, so I couldn’t have possibly understood the complexities of making a marriage work or your heart falling out of love. I just wanted someone to blame because my father was gone and my mother was sad, and it was easiest to blame you.”
We were both quiet for a long time, but eventually, I asked, “What if there was no Kayla? Would you have stayed with Mom?”
Dad shook his head. “That’s obviously not a simple question to answer, since there is a Kayla. But I’m pretty sure the answer is no. If it wasn’t her, it would’ve been someone else eventually. The problem wasn’t me falling for a specific woman, Molly. The problem was me. Can I ask you something?”
“Yes.”
“Do your man problems have to do with Declan and Will?”
I nodded.
“I know I’m probably the last person who should give advice on relationships. But sometimes hindsight is a lot clearer than when you’re in the thick of things. So if I can offer any advice, it would be not to make a commitment unless you’re certain and ready to work at it.”
CHAPTER 20
* * *
Declan
“How are things going over there?” Ken’s voice boomed through the speakerphone.
Julia and I had a standing conference call with our boss once a week, almost always on Fridays. But earlier today he’d emailed us both to ask if we could speak at four this afternoon, even though it was only Tuesday.
“Good,” I said. “We’re still a bit ahead of schedule, so we’ve started working on the media plan.”
“Wonderful. Good to hear it. That makes this much easier.”
I looked across the table at Julia to see if she knew what he was talking about, but her forehead was just as wrinkled as mine.
She shrugged, so I spoke up. “Makes what easier, Ken?”
“You know Jim Townsend?”
We both nodded. “Sure. Is everything okay with him?” I asked.