He looked somewhat appeased by her obedience, but still blazing angry.
“And why are you here?” he bit out.
She braced herself for war. “To get Jaeden back. We’re coming with you.”
Lucien had a hold of her so quickly, he gave her whiplash. “Like Hades you are.”
“You can’t stop me,” she replied calmly.
His face crumpled, losing all anger and filling with desperation. “Caia, I can’t go into this worrying about your safety.”
“You need someone, a magikal someone, in there with you. And I need to do this.”
Lucien shook her none too gently. “It is not your fault they took her.”
“Yes. It. Is.”
“Caia—”
“I’m not arguing with you, Lucien. You either let me go with you or I’ll use my magik to keep you here and go it alone.”
His eyes narrowed dangerously. “You’ve not got that kind of power yet.”
Caia tensed at the challenge and smiled humorlessly. “You wanna bet?” And with that, she drew her focus and energy carefully into seizing hold of Lucien. He gasped as his hands dropped from her upper arms and he was gently pushed back by an invisible force. She smiled at his surprise, which seemed to infuriate him back to his senses. He made a move toward her, only to bounce off an invisible barrier between them.
“Caia,” he warned as he hit at the barrier.
Her amusement faded as he walked the length of the room trying to escape the shield she’d created around him. Marion had taught her this the day she returned, and Caia had picked it up with surprising ease. But watching Lucien growl and hiss and spit in his growing failure, Caia felt terrible, caging him in. She didn’t want to do this to him.
The barrier disappeared, and Lucien regained his hold of her. “Don’t ever do that again.” His hot breath rushed across her face and she closed her eyes, not wanting to see his dislike of her.
“Caia, look at me,” he demanded.
She shook her head.
“Look at me.”
Slowly her eyes fluttered open. Lucien didn’t look angry anymore. Sad. Awed. Scared.
“You’re not disgusted?” she whispered.
He shook his head. “Not happy either, though.”
“I don’t want to do that to you, Lucien, but I will. To protect you, to protect Jaeden, I will.”
She felt him tremble and knew he was trying to remain calm. He definitely didn’t like not getting his own way. He let go of her and dropped heavily onto one of the beds, his elbows braced on his knees, his head buried in his hands. “Fine,” he said wearily.
Caia wanted to rejoice. She had won a battle with him. She would get to be there to see Jaeden out of the clutches of her twisted uncle. She would make sure Lucien would get home safely too.
And then she could get on with her life. “Before we get Jaeden back, we need to talk.” Quietly she settled into a threadbare armchair in the corner, distancing herself physically from him.
He looked up, his eyes searching. “About what?”
“Us.”
He nodded and exhaled loudly. “Is this about the Center?”
“Partly.”
Unnerved, Caia waited for him to say anything, but he sat immobile, like stone, so stoic now compared to the writhing animal he’d been fifteen minutes before.
“I think the air should be honest and clear between us before we rescue Jaeden.”
“Agreed.” He shifted casually so that he lay across the bed, his back pressed against the headboard. Caia looked away, hot flashbacks scoring across her mind. Damn it. It was the whole mating thing, she assured herself. The attraction between them would always be there because of that.
Caia swallowed and managed to look at him, annoyed by the mischievous light in his eyes that told her he knew what she was thinking.
“From the beginning, here’s the truth.” She tried to maintain eye contact. “I had a crush on you almost from the start. A huge, embarrassing, adolescent crush.” His lips quirked smugly and she bristled. “Enough of that.”
He chuckled. “The attraction was mutual, believe me.”
Caia didn’t want to hear that. She especially didn’t want to feel elated at the news.
“Anyway,” she said, trying to sound all business, “you have to think how it was for me, Lucien. I hadn’t had anyone in my life, and then all of a sudden, there was the pack. And you. I felt safe with you.”
The quiet vulnerability in her voice was obvious, and Lucien shifted, sitting straighter, more alert. “Good,” he said hoarsely.
“No. Not good—”
“But—”
“Lucien, please listen. It wasn’t good because I was devastated when I learned about my mother and father and the Midnights. I was torn up, and not just because of the truth … but because you, my safe place … hid it from me.”
He swung his legs off the bed, leaning forward, his eyes full of anguish. “You said you forgave me.”
“I do.” She nodded quickly. “I understand why you did it. I would’ve done the same thing to protect the pack. But it still doesn’t change the fact that my feelings for you were no longer quite the same as before. But …” She looked away embarrassed. “I was still attracted to you, still respected and admired you. And yes, I eventually forgave you. Learning about my powers also took my mind off it, off you, for a while. But then Jaeden was taken, and when we realized she’d been gone for a long time, I … you can’t tell me it’s not my fault.”