It was over.
He couldn’t believe it. For most of his life, he’d fought the fact that his dad had taken away his choices and given him to Caia like a toy. But then his father had died, and Lucien knew he had to protect the pack at all costs, even if that meant becoming mate to a half-lykan, half-magik young woman who had no attachments in this world.
He hadn’t expected to fall in love with her.
And now he hated her for being able to walk away so easily when he felt as if his soul was split in two. Lucien tried to concentrate on the plans to get Jaeden back—Jaeden, the sweetest, kindest young female in the pack, who loved the pack, who would do anything for the pack, who had been taken because of a young half lykan, half magik who would sooner have glory than give a shit about the pack! Jaeden deserved his concentration. She didn’t deserve to be put on the back burner while his hands still itched to claw the life out of Sebastian as he stroked Caia’s arm in comfort. Was she in love with the young lykan boy? Was that why she was leaving?
“What do you think, Lucien?”
He looked at Ryder, ashamed that he didn’t know what he’d said. “About what?”
“A quick bite before we go?”
He hadn’t missed anything important.
“Sure.” He nodded.
Jaeden. He clenched his fists. It’s all about Jaeden.
28
Lunarmorte
They decided to leave Sebastian’s car at the motel and take only Lucien’s truck. He drove with Ryder and Aidan up front beside him. Caia sat in the truck bed with Sebastian and Christian, enjoying the wind that tangled with her hair and beat against her face.
Lucien hadn’t spoken a word to her that he hadn’t needed to utter. Hate, she could deal with. It was an emotion; it meant that he cared enough to at least do that. But the blank indifference was like a knife cutting her into pieces. She’d thought she hadn’t known who she was before she came back to the pack. The pain of that was nothing compared to this new hurt.
“We’ll get her, Caia, don’t worry.” Sebastian drew her into his side, misinterpreting her silence. She glanced up at him, and then at Christian who twirled his wedding band around and around on his finger. His face was drawn and anxious, his eyes sad. He looked so exhausted.
“If we get her back,” Christian suddenly spoke, “it doesn’t change what’s happening here. What we’ve decided to ignore.”
“What do you mean?” Sebastian whispered in confusion.
“We’ve been happy to hide ourselves away, protected by Marion. But while we’ve been doing that, how many other brothers and fathers and husbands have had to hunt down their loved ones … or bury them … or die dishonored because they failed those under their protection?” He choked, and Caia knew he was filled with as much guilt over Jaeden’s predicament as she was.
He looked up at Caia now, his blue eyes so like Jaeden’s, burning with determination. The tension rioted through the entire truck. They were all listening to Christian’s words. “This isn’t just about us anymore. You’re the reason we even have a lead on my sister. And if we find her, Caia, if we save her, then that’s because of you. You can’t just let power like that go to waste.” His eyes flickered toward Lucien who kept driving but had visibly tensed.
Caia wondered if the others had been eavesdropping on her and Lucien’s argument. “You have to do what you can to bring the Midnights under control and end this war. Even if it means leaving the pack.” Yes, they had been eavesdropping. “I for one wouldn’t blame you.”
A single tear rolled down her cold cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered, and he nodded before turning away and closing his eyes to the wind.
So maybe she had destroyed the person she could have been for the pack. But Christian was right. Leaving the pack wouldn’t take away who she was—it would just change what she was going to be, and maybe for the better for everyone.
When the icy sensation she’d come to know as Ethan crawled through her skin like tiny bugs, Caia made Lucien pull over. They sat on a road that ran through woodland, and like a virtual tour in her head, she could see that one mile to their left, through thick trees, past a small creek and a deer that chewed casually on foliage, was an L-shaped house built like a large shack. To the rear, where they would enter from the woods, a small porch door was guarded by an energy she could now attribute to a daemon. They would be safe from the front where another daemon stood guard; they would have to take care of it.