“It’s not a fling,” she forced up her throat. She wished it was. She wished it had been quick and dirty, then over with. In the end, it had been anything but.
“That’s unfortunate. Now, go to your locker. I want you to turn in your service weapon and badge. You’ve got five. Not a minute more.”
Her knees wobbled as she stood. Her breathing strained when she left his office, ran out the back door to the parking lot and grabbed her badge from her purse. She rushed back inside and into the thankfully empty locker room. She opened her locker and pulled her holstered service weapon from her locked gun box.
She caught herself staring blindly at one of her uniforms hanging inside. The one she planned on wearing when she returned from her regular days off. Now she wouldn’t be allowed to wear it for the next two weeks.
Her sight began to blur as she dragged her fingers over the smooth black leather of her duty belt that hung on a hook next to her uniform, then she glanced down at her duty bag on the bottom of the locker.
Her locker was all business. It was only used to store what she needed to do her job. That was it. She had no pictures, notes or drawings taped to the inside, unlike everyone else she worked with. Why? Because she never had anyone special in her life before besides her family.
She had no children and for the longest time, no love interest.
Now she finally had one, it was someone she couldn’t hang his picture up inside the gray metal door.
She didn’t even have a picture of him, anyway. Though, ironically, she had access to plenty of his mugshots.
Once she closed her locker, she pressed her palm and her forehead against the cool steel. She didn’t have time to feel sorry for herself right now. He’d given her a time limit for a reason. He didn’t want to drag this out.
It was painful for both of them.
In the next minute, she found herself back in his office and standing in front of his desk. Her brain numb and unable to find the right words. Most likely because they didn’t exist.
Max tilted his head toward his desk. “Leave your badge and service weapon.”
She placed the leather badge holder that held her MGPD shield and ID on a stack of files. After unsnapping her holster, she pulled her Glock free, dropped the magazine and racked the slide, locking it open. A .45 round flew from the chamber and made a defining ping on the tiled floor in the achingly silent office. She picked it up, placed her gun on the desk with the single round, the full mag and her badge.
With a sting in her eyes, she stared at those items on his desk. It felt like someone had punched a hole in her chest where her heart used to be.
“If you have an answer before your suspension is over, I’ll hear it, but you will still serve that suspension before putting one foot back in this station. And just in case you think I’m being harder on you because of who you are, I would do the same with any of my officers and not only because you’re family. Now… Get out of my office.”
She nodded, avoiding his gaze, turned and stiffly moved toward the open door.
“Jet,” he called out.
When she glanced back over her shoulder, his fingers were steepled in front of his mouth. “Whether you believe this or not, I’m looking out for your best interest. As your chief and your cousin.”
Jet paused, swallowed hard and looked at the cousin she loved like a brother and the chief she respected. “Are you?”
She could see clearly on his face, as he didn’t hide it, he hated doing this to her, but he felt he had no choice.
She understood his quandary. He needed to do what he thought was best for his PD. Unfortunately, he shouldered that responsibility alone.
Without another word between them, she nodded and walked out of his office, then went straight home to her empty apartment.
Even though it was not even noon yet, she stripped off her clothes and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over her head.
That was when she finally allowed the hot tears to fall and burn their way down her cheeks.
She had no idea when they finally ran out.
She also had no idea when and if the deep ache in her heart would ever dull.
When her swollen eyes opened, her bedroom was dark. She found herself on her side with Cujo curled into a ball against her stomach and a warm, naked Rook wrapped around her back, holding her tight.
She had cried herself to sleep earlier and never heard the boys come into the apartment or join her in bed.