The Insiders (The Insiders Trilogy 1)

I reached up without thinking.

I cupped the side of his face.

“The world is already fascinated with you.” Those were my words. More came out. “And whatever comes our way, I will handle it. I’m here. I’m with you. And, my God, Kash. If you try to leave me, I won’t have it. You got that?”

I could speak just as harshly.

He didn’t say anything. Neither did I.

We were glaring at each other.

The room was shrinking in on us, and then the doorbell rang.

Kash cursed, his eyes closing. His head tipped back, but it rang again. And again.

Stalking over, he pressed the button, then went stock-still.

Blood drained from his face.

Every hair on my body stood straight up.

I was standing at the end of the hall, and I stepped toward him, out of instinct. “Kash?”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t look at me.

Whoever it was, they’d gotten past the front desk. They were on our floor, just on the other side of our door.

Cursing, he wrenched open the door and faced off against whoever was on the other side.

“Get. Gone!”

Their response was quieter, calmer. “Hello, Kash.” A man. An older man.

Ice ran down my spine. I was moving faster, hurrying to be at his side, because this time Kash needed me. Then Kash was moving. He blocked me, holding me back. He slammed the door shut, engaging all of the locks. He flicked off the security camera feed so I couldn’t see, then hit the buzzer. “Call the police. Now.”

He held me back until we heard the elevator open, close, and travel down.

I stepped away from him, getting a glimpse of what a cornered feral animal might look like. Unease traced through me. They were whispering at me, in the back of my mind, riding down my spine.

I asked, “Who was that?”

He didn’t look me in the eye, but his hand tightened over mine.

“My grandfather.”

BONUS

Bailey’s Letter to Kash

I told you before that I wanted more nights with you.

I demand more nights with you. I demand longer nights with you.

I see the outside you. I demand to know the inside you.

I want the words, the actions, the secrets. I want the you and me that no one else will ever know.

I want to hold your hand. I want to feel your hugs.

I want to get cards from you. I want dinners and roses and chardonnay. I want champagne, but I want the other good stuff. I want the sunset hand-holding. I want the sunrise coffee together. I want the laughter in the day, flirty texts, dirty sexts.

I want it all, and I want them with you.

I want to know your haunts. I want to tremble from them, alongside you.

I want the full picture of how you became you, from your first memory to your last memory, and when a new day starts and when that memory refreshes, I want those too.

I am greedy because I want all of you. Not some of you. Not a third of you. Not the good part of you, or the bad part of you. I want the lover, the friend, the part that will walk with me wherever I go, the part that will ride next to me, the part that will fight with me, for me, beside me.

I know you think I need more time. I don’t.

I know you think I was scarred. I wasn’t.

I know you think I need to heal still. Fuck no.

I’m good to go, so besides all the other gushy stuff in this letter, I want you to come over here.

I want you to take me, make me yours, because I already am.

I’m yours, Kash. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I love you.

So fucking give me you, okay?