Here With Me (Adair Family 1)

“Abandoned?”

I nodded. “I told you how, my whole life, I’ve been a mini parent to that girl. Mom and Seth, whether they meant to, put me in the role. We’re both adventurous, have a wild side, but mine is balanced. I feel responsibility. I understand consequences. I know where to draw the line.”

“Regan doesn’t,” Mac deduced.

“No, she doesn’t. And Mom and Seth got it into their heads when she was a goddamn toddler that only I could get through to her, and I just naturally took on that role.”

“I’m not sure that’s right, but who am I to judge anyone’s parenting style?”

I snorted. “No one is a perfect parent, but you’re right. This past year, I’ve realized how much I resent being put in that position. But maybe I wouldn’t resent it so much if she hadn’t taken off without me on the dream trip we’d planned together, just weeks after I got shot and nearly died.” I wrinkled my nose. “Do I sound bitter? That sounded bitter to me.”

“You sound like you have reason to feel bitter.”

“Yeah, okay, I have issues with Regan. And she’s done irresponsible things in the past. For instance, not telling anyone she’d taken off after I got shot. Now she’s doing the same thing, but there’s this small part of me that’s like, ‘What if she is in trouble?’ I’ve left countless voicemails and emails and heard nothing back. I know she’s been in contact with Mom and Seth, but now she’s dropped off the face of the planet. I’m worried, but I’m not certain she’s in trouble. So am I prioritizing myself and this case over a sister who needs me?”

“She’s the Boy Who Cried Wolf.”

“Exactly.” I studied my dad’s contemplative expression. “So what should I do?”

“What you’re doing. Your sister isn’t a wee girl anymore. It’s not her big sister’s job to teach her where to draw the line. She’s a grown-up. She knows where the line is, Robyn, and crossing it or not crossing it isn’t your responsibility. You can’t control her, and you need to let go of the idea that her consequences are yours.”

“I know. That’s why I’m here still. But the guilt …”

“Is just a part of who you are. You love her, you worry about her. That’s natural. But you are not failing her, Robyn. All you can do is be there for her when she comes to you.”

Tears pricked my eyes at his gentle advice, and I nudged him with my shoulder. “Thank you.”

He nudged me back. “You’re welcome, wee birdie.”

We fell into a companionable silence for a few minutes and then he asked hesitantly, “Is there anything else on your mind?”

I sucked in a breath. Oh yeah, there was definitely something else on my mind. “Well … there’s Lachlan.”

Mac waited for me to say more.

I made a face. “Do you want to hear this stuff?”

“I want to hear what’s bothering you.” He shot me a wary look. “But leave out the details.”

Chuckling unhappily, I retorted, “What details? He was already Mr. No Future before all this happened, but at least we were having a good time together. I made it clear that I’m not some faceless woman in a long line of faceless women, and he seemed to agree. I thought we were friends. He told me things I wasn’t expecting.”

“Like?”

“About his family. His past. He trusted me with information I’m not sure he’s trusted other women with.”

“I can see him doing that with you.”

I raised an eyebrow.

Mac gave me a proud smile. “You’re an honorable, trustworthy person, Robyn. Anyone can see that.”

Honorable. People didn’t use words like that anymore. It was nice Mac saw that in me. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I get it from you.”

He sighed. “I’m not so sure about the honorable part. But I appreciate it. So … your relationship with Lachlan has turned into something more?”

I couldn’t ascertain if that bothered Mac. He was excellent at remaining outwardly impartial. “It’s confusing. He’s trusted me, but I haven’t felt it was prudent to trust him in return. Seemed dangerous to my self-preservation.”

“You care about him?”

I eyed Mac. “I don’t know when or how, but yes. Caring about him just sort of happened.”

“You connected with him. Those kinds of connections come out of nowhere sometimes. You find them in unexpected places.” He sighed heavily, wearing an expression of mournful frustration. Arrochar came to mind, and I wondered if he was silently referring to her. Had he unexpectedly connected with Lachlan’s little sister? Was she the woman he loved and didn’t pursue out of fear?

Part of me wanted to ask, yet I knew without really knowing that it was a topic very much off-limits. And I still wasn’t certain how I felt about whatever was (or wasn’t) going on between them.

“You shouldn’t run from it if you’ve found something genuine with him. If anyone can pull Adair’s head out of his arse, it’s you.” Mac continued, “And I hope any reservations have nothing to do with me. I will never stand in your way.”