Finding Solace

Her.

Her kisses.

Her breath mingling with mine. Her soft body against my hard one. No woman ever felt right, and now I know why. She was made for me. But before we get in too deep, she pulls back, leaving me breathless and turned on as she swims to the other side of the dock. “It’s getting late, Jason. I think we should call it a night.”

I swim a bit longer, watching as she climbs up the ladder, thinking she needs the reprieve from me. She grabs her dress and slips it over her head, leaving the side unzipped. Coming to the edge, she peers down at me. “Whatever that was, we can’t do it again.”

There’s no fight in her words, but more of a casual request on her part. “Why not?”

“I’m not in my right mind when I’m around you. Add in wine and it’s not wise.”

“Not wise for who? You or me?”

She slips on her shoes. “I blame it on the moonlight.”

“The moon is an innocent bystander. It’s the sunlight we need to be wary of. The light of day often reveals more truth than we need to know.”

“Maybe. Guess we’ll find out soon enough.” She takes a shaky breath. “You’re quite familiar with leaving, so you can see yourself off the property.”

Ouch. “That’s it?” I ask, waving my arms through the water.

“Yes. That’s it.”

She starts walking away, so I swim to the ladder and get out. “I can drive you back to the house.”

“I know my way.” She waves over the back of her head. “Thanks for dinner.”

“You barely ate.”

She doesn’t turn back this time or respond, and I’m standing there confused, not sure what went wrong. The kiss? The conversation? The confession? Fuck that. This isn’t the Delilah I once knew. She never ran from her problems. Is that what I am? A problem for her?

I grab the blanket and with everything inside, pick it up and set it in the back of the truck, except the wine, which I take with me. While trying to put my boxers back on, I hop from one foot to the other toward the truck to take off after her. She’s not gotten far, but far enough for her not to hear me until I’m much closer.

Flashbacks of our breakup and her stubborn side whip through my mind. I’m not going to let that get the best of us again. This time, we’re dealing with our issues head-on. I pull beside her, driving at the pace of her stride, and then hold the wine out the window in offering. “I have half a bottle of wine to kill. Care to join me?”

Taking the bottle from me, she takes a swig, and then says, “I know what you’re doing, Jason Koster,” before storming off again.

Driving again, I hang my arm out the window, dividing my attention between her and the where I’m going. “What am I doing, Delilah Noelle?”

She stops again, and points at me. “You’re trying to get me drunk.”

I put the truck in park and lean my elbow on the door. “Why would I want to do that? And since when do two glasses of wine get you drunk?”

“I don’t drink much anymore, but you wouldn’t know that since you’ve been off doing only God knows whatever you’ve been doing.”

Is it me or the wine that’s wound her up so much? “Hop in and I’ll drive you back.”

“I don’t want you to drive me back. I’m perfectly fine with the stars and this wine.”

“If you’re so fine, then why do you sound mad?”

She stills, her chest rising and falling with her feelings trapped inside. I know her. I remember all her moods and swings that maneuvered her through them. Delilah was never a girl to complain and always dealt with everything straight on, but she’s not her usual self. She’s holding back, and I hate it. Popping the door open, I step out—wet boxers and all—and lean against the truck. “Talk to me.”

“I can’t.” Her shoulders fall in defeat. When the silence becomes uncomfortable, she brings the bottle to her lips, but I catch it and lower it back down. Her eyes have lost some fire that always burned bright in the past. “We broke up. That means you have no right to make demands of me.”

“I never wanted to break up, Delilah. I never wanted to make demands of you. I just wanted you.”

“But you left me,” she whispers.

Why does she feel I left her? I left when she started dating Cutler. I may have put distance between us with the transfer, but my heart stayed behind. “I’m back. I’m here now. What do you think about us ignoring the past for tonight and just enjoying our time together?”

“Is that because you’re only giving me tonight?”

Fuck it. I can’t hold back around her. “No, it’s because I’d take all your time if you let me, but I don’t think you’re ready for that.”