Finding Solace

“What am I ready for?”

“That kiss you wanted earlier.” I move in and close the space between us. This time, our lips don’t just touch, they crash into each other’s. Her arms loop around my neck, and the bottle bumps against my back. I slide my hands down the sides of her wet dress, feeling those dangerously sexy curves. Just when I feel her resolve slipping, I reach around my back and take the bottle from her.

Our lips part, and she whispers against my lips, “I hate that I missed you so much.”

“There’s nothing wrong with missing me. I missed you more than you’ll ever believe.”

A smile that endears me even more to her every time I see it appears. Leaning back, she looks into my eyes while keeping her arms securely around me. “Try me.”

“Let me show you.” I drop the bottle to the ground and kiss her.

And then I kiss her again, cupping her face in my hands and holding her to me. This time, our kiss is gentle, a familiarity in the feel and flow of the movement. Our lips part, and our tongues reunite with a soft caress and then more, going deeper as if staking claims that can be staked without repercussions. We both know that can’t happen, but in this kiss, we pretend it can. We pretend we can do this like we used to, and the outside world doesn’t exist.

Backing her against the truck, we continue to kiss, and her hands roam my backside, holding her against me. This time, I pull back, and say, “Let me take you home.”

Physically, I have no way to hide my body’s reaction, but I’m thinking she likes the feel of me. She holds my ass, and says, “I bet my sister I wouldn’t sleep with you.”

I chuckle. “As much as I love a good cuddle after sex, I love to win a bet more. No sleeping together then.”

“What? No.” I hear the plea in her tone as she wriggles against me.

“Oh, don’t worry, honeysuckle. When I say sleeping, I mean the slumbering kind of actual sleep. I plan on keeping you wide-awake all night.”

A smile slips into place, and her head falls back with laughter. “You always knew the way to a woman’s heart.”

“I might want your heart, but tonight, I want everything else.” Nodding toward the cab, I step back. “The mosquitoes are brutal.”

Taking my hand, she says, “Let’s go back to the house.” I walk with her around the truck and open the door. When she’s safely inside, I jog back around and steer the truck, getting us back to the farmhouse quickly. When I cut the engine, the sounds of the cicadas surround us again, the light from the front porch barely reaching us. She looks over at me, and at that moment, I can see something so tragically beautiful in her eyes. How could anyone hurt her like he did?

She pops the door but doesn’t rush to get out. “Would you like to come in?”

“Do you want me to come in?”

“Yes.” That’s all the go-ahead I need. We meet at the tailgate with my boxers soaked through the fabric. The wet cotton of her dress also clings to her body. “What a fine pair of drowned rats we are.”

She reaches for my hand, and I take it, but I also grab my clothes from the blanket in the back before we walk across the lawn. Suddenly, all the fun is gone, and we’re left with the questions we should have asked and answered back on that dock. Her fight has slipped into the night, and as much as I want to have sex with her, there’s too much to work through to put ourselves at risk again. The quiet between us is unnerving, the doubts coming back, so I stop on the porch just as she enters the house. “Delilah?”

The screen door slams closed between us, and she turns, surprised to see me on the other side. “Are you coming in?”

I want to so badly. So badly that I doubt myself for not taking what I want. I can’t, though. Not with her. She means too much. She’s the only one who can hurt me. Again. Instead, I sigh and look down. “I think I should go home.”

Disappointment takes over her features, disappointment shaping her expression. “Why?”

“Because as much as I want to be with you, I don’t want some weird thing between us. I want us kissing and laughing, making love because it feels good and because it’s what we both want. So maybe we call it a night tonight?”

“That’s probably best.”

“Good night, Delilah. It was good to spend time with you again.”

“Good night.”

I head down the steps, though not in a hurry.

“Jason?” Looking back over my shoulder, I wait to hear what she has to say, every word from her too important to miss. “It was good to spend time with you, too. Maybe we can do it again before you leave town.”