Finding Solace

Leave town. When is that? It’s something I need to consider. “I’d like that.” I start walking again, sticks and dried leaves crunching under my feet as I cross the lawn again. I should probably get dressed before driving home. “And hey, let Shelby know you won the bet.”

“I will.” Gentle laughter filters to my ears. “If I won, why do I feel like I lost?”

I’m trying to do right by her. Read her body language and between the lines of what she says. Respect her and some bet she made with her sister. But I’m letting her down by not ravaging her good and proper. Women are complicated.

Dropping my clothes and the blanket into the bed of the truck, I turn back. Analyzing that body now, I see all the signs I need. Fuck my stance. Fuck her bet. Fuck. She still owns me after all these years. I turn around and cross that lawn like my feet are on fire and get the distinct pleasure of her smile again.

I swing the screen door wide open and step inside until I hear her breath catch, and her eyes go wild with anticipation. “You’re so going to lose that bet.” Capturing her chin between my fingers, I kiss her. This time, I leave no doubt about my intentions for the night. And by how she’s kissing me while dragging me toward the bedroom, she leaves none for me either.

11

Jason

The lamp crashes to the floor, the light bulb flashing before going out. I bump my knee on a table, and my big toe hits something metal. My lips leave hers as I bounce on one foot. “Fuck.”

Delilah’s arms are still around my neck, but her lips leave my face, and she giggles. “Sorry about that. I’ve moved things around since you were last here.”

Looking over her shoulder into the living room, I find enough light from the kitchen to take stock of the room. It’s a bad habit I’d like to break, but living like I did, it’s one I needed. Even in the dark, especially in the dark, I always need to know my escape route, or I could be killed. There’s a clear path to the back door if the chair is pushed in.

She turns my chin with her finger. “Hey, remember me?”

Who needs lamps when her smile lights up the room? I tighten my hands around her waist, liking the feel of our bodies pressed together too much to let her go. “I remember. I remember everything.”

“Then where’d you go? I lost you.”

The other meaning cracks my heart just enough to feel the ache. “I’m right here.” Tucking some of her wet hair back from her face, I say, “I’m right here with you.” Her body is cold, the air in the house chilling us both. I bring her to me, as close as I can hold her, and kiss her on the head. “You’re going to get a cold. Maybe we should detour to the shower for a warm-up.”

Tilting her head back, she can land a solid smirk herself. “A warm-up like foreplay or to actually warm up?”

“Both.”

I will never get enough of her smile. I’m warmer by being at the receiving end of it, so I mentally add it to the list of things I missed about her.

“I’ll get the water going. It takes forever to heat,” she replies.

Just as she turns to leave, I catch her by the wrist. When she turns back expectantly, I ask, “What do you want me to do?”

Slipping her wrist from my grasp, her hand replaces it. “Come with me.”

I follow her down the hall and up the stairs, stairs I remember climbing a million times when we were teenagers. We were only allowed in her bedroom with the door wide open, and if we got too quiet, her dad would start asking questions.

“What’s the capital of Montana?”

“Helena.”

“Do penguins have knees?”

“Yes.”

If we missed one, he put us to work outside. Honestly, he was a smart man when it came to dealing with horny teenagers.

When Delilah reaches the top landing, she stops and turns around. Standing eye level with me, she holds my face in her hands, and as if someone might hear, she whispers, “I don’t know what we’re doing, but can we take it slow?”

Taking hold of her hips, I kiss her gently. “I’m in no rush to reach the end of this night.”

“I don’t only mean tonight. I mean, I guess we kind of know what’s about to happen, and I want that with you. I do. I’m just worried about tomorrow.”

I kiss her again, slower this time, casually reacquainting our lips. “Let’s leave our cares for tomorrow and enjoy tonight. Just a little time to feel good.” I can’t ask for more. She deserves someone better, someone with a clear conscience and clean soul. But as I’m kissing her, I let the dark win because if I can have this chance, one last time to be with her, I’ll greedily take it.