I didn’t know if things had moved fast or slow. Alex hadn’t been back that long, but on the other hand, I’d loved him since high school.
I just couldn’t help wondering what I’d gotten myself into.
Chapter 30
Alex
When I first moved back to Livingston, I didn’t have any hope I’d ever get back together with Aspyn, not even as a friend.
I understood that I’d hurt her. Ignored her. Made her feel like I didn’t care.
When I first saw her again, I half-expected her to throw a drink in my face and tell me how I was a worthless piece of shit. I would have deserved it.
No. I didn’t come back to town thinking I could get her back. Hell, I certainly didn’t know about Kadie at the time. The only thin sliver I grasped was the idea that if I bided my time, maybe, just maybe, she’d begin to forgive me.
Now, on my way from Ranch 2.0 to her house in town, I let a huge grin split my face. My wildest dreams were coming true.
Everything was different. Not like it was before, but even better. We were together as more than friends finally. We had a daughter together.
Kadie was the beginning of something more. Kids helped keep people together. It was only a matter of moving on to the next step, my daughter helping lead the way.
My grin disappeared. My daughter didn’t even know I was her father. I was imagining some bright, sunny future with all of us together, but Aspyn was still acting like I might disappear at any second. Even if she had her reasons, the thought still hurt.
Doubt wormed itself way back into my heart. If Aspyn was happy to be with me, then Kadie deserved to know the truth.
I gritted my teeth, and my heart kicked up. No, no, no. It couldn’t be going wrong, not when I’d managed to finally get through to her.
“Stop being a pussy,” I muttered to myself.
Aspyn would tell Kadie the truth soon enough. I just had to believe in her. We’d reconnected.
The more I thought about it, the more I believed it. It wasn’t like she would be interested in something short-term anyway. Now that I’d proven I was going to stick around, she was responding to that. We had something together, and she understood I planned to be there for our daughter for the long haul.
What would you call that? Love? I don’t know. Maybe that was too much, but there definitely was a connection that went beyond friendship.
I glanced down at the clock on my dashboard. It was almost noon. Aspyn would be spending her Friday helping her mother out with watching kids. She said I could stop by and play with Kadie. It’d be a fun time if I could stop worrying.
There was something I had to do first, though. Make myself a promise.
“Tonight,” I said to myself. “No more delays. It’s time my daughter knew who her father is.”
* * *
Hours later, I glanced into the back seat of the truck. Kadie was asleep in her car seat, a little nap before dinner. We’d had a great time at her grandmother’s playing together, and now we were on our way back to Aspyn’s place.
I would have loved to have taken them back to my house, but Kadie’s room still wasn’t set up. Her furniture had been delivered, but I needed to put it together.
As I watched her little face twitch in sleep in the rearview mirror, I marveled at how quickly I’d taken to this little girl, my little girl. I already had so many plans, so many ways I wanted to be there for her.
I wanted to make sure I would be the best damn daddy in the world. Maybe that way, I could honor my own dad.
I smiled over at Aspyn in the passenger seat.
She smiled back. “You don’t always have to play blocks with her, you know. You can do something else.”
“But she likes blocks.”
“Just saying, Alex, that part of being her daddy is not always giving in to what she wants. Sometimes push her a little to do some other things, figure things out that you both enjoy and do them together. That way you both have fun.”