I’ve never been someone’s husband. After Kimmie walked away, the idea of bringing another woman into mine and Queenie’s lives who might potentially abandon us again seemed unfathomable. And irresponsible. The only women whose welfare I’ve been concerned about have been Queenie and my own mother. I shifted my focus to being the best dad I could so she wouldn’t feel like she was missing out by not having her mom around. But now I have Hanna and our baby to think about. And I find I think about them often. To the point I’m not fully focused on the poker game. I wonder how she’s doing with the girls. If she’s tired. If she’s having fun, and if I can still convince her to come back here tonight so when I wake up in the morning she’s next to me and not a short drive away.
At nine-thirty, my phone pings with a message. We’re in the middle of an intense hand, so I don’t look at it right away. But fifteen seconds later, Rook’s phone pings and Bishop’s goes off next, followed by Alex’s. Every time he gets a message, the refrain from a song plays. It’s “Every Breath You Take.” I have to believe it was his wife who did that. Alex jokes about how hard he pursued her when they first started dating.
Rook turns his phone face up, and Alex does, too. Before I can follow suit, mine rings.
It’s Queenie.
I hit the answer button. “Hey honey, what’s up, is everything okay?”
“Hey. Hi. Um, I don’t want you to panic—” Queenie’s voice wavers.
“Fuck,” Alex says.
“Oh, shit,” Rook mutters and pushes his chair back from the table.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” I take in the panicked expressions on Rook’s, Bishop’s, and Alex’s faces.
“Hanna fainted in the bathroom. She threw up and she’s cramping now. We’re taking her to the hospital. Can you meet us there?” Queenie asks.
“We’re leaving right now.” It’s a flurry of action, Rook holding up his keys, and the rest of the guys pushing away from the table. “Are you with Hanna? Can I talk to her?” I ask.
“I am. She’s pretty upset right now, but I’m giving her the phone. It’s on speaker.”
I take mine off speaker and bring it to my ear, reminding myself that I have to stay calm, for Hanna’s sake. “Hey, sweetness, I’m sorry I’m not with you right now, but I’m on my way to the hospital, too.”
She makes a sound that isn’t a word.
“I know you’re scared, but let’s see what the doctors say, okay? You’ve been doing so well so far, and the doctors have been pleased with how everything is progressing, so let’s not borrow trouble before we need to.” My stomach twists and knots, my own anxiety making it hard to keep my voice steady.
“I just want everything to be okay,” she whispers, her voice cracking.
“I know. Me, too, Hanna.” And I mean it. More than I ever thought possible, I want them both to be okay, because the alternative isn’t something I want to face. Or even consider.
The twenty-minute trip to the hospital feels like it takes an eternity. I stay on the phone with Hanna until she gets there—only minutes before us. And in the short span of time that we’re disconnected, I feel like I’m losing my mind.
Rook drops me off at the emergency room doors and Alex comes inside with me, likely to keep me from bulldozing my way through the place in search of Hanna.
He claps a hand on my shoulder as we wait at the front desk for someone to tell us where to go. I feel like I’m on the verge of hyperventilating. “Vi had spotting with the twins. They put her on bed rest, and everything turned out fine.”
I want to take the reassurance for what it is, but his wife is a decade younger than Hanna. And Hanna has miscarried before. The risks are much higher, the chances that something can go wrong that much more likely.
Violet comes rushing down the hall. “Oh, thank baby Jesus you’re here. They’ve taken Hanna in for an ultrasound, but they know to expect you. She really needs you with her right now.” She jumps up and mashes her face against Alex’s jaw, maybe to give him a face-punch-kiss, and then grabs my sleeve and almost trips over her feet as she pulls me down the hall.
I’m barely tracking anything as I’m led to the ultrasound clinic. Lainey and Stevie are hovering near the door. I tell the attendant who I am, and I’m guided down the hall to one of the rooms. The attendant knocks and announces that I’m here. The door opens and Queenie steps out, eyes wide.
She gives me a huge, brief hug. “Hanna needs you. We’re all here for you no matter what.”