“Lieve, why do you test me?” he asked.
“Because I don’t see you out there fucking off a debt. Oh did you guys know that I’m working off someone else’s mess? Yeah I was dumb enough to stay with a family that I thought was doing me a kindness. I came back one day and boom! My shit was out in the street and I wound up staying in a hostel, that I’m still convinced is owned by that one,” I said jerking my thumb in his direction.
“Lieve, you’re excused,” Kerstan said in a stern voice.
“Maybe I don’t want to leave,” I replied, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back against the chair. “Maybe I think I deserve an answer first.”
You know that expression about playing with fire? Well the look in Kerstan’s eyes told me that I was teetering at the edge of a volcano with molten lava waiting to swallow me whole. But he didn’t lose his temper and he didn’t get up from his seat. Instead he leaned forward and clasped his hands on the table before answering me.
“Just one big one that you’ll never forget.”
What the hell does that mean?
“Of course, you’ll continue to work until that one is ready for you. I can’t have you getting rusty, though I will allow one month’s rest before you are to satisfy the arrangement so that you tighten up,” he finished with a smirk.
I stared at him. One more with a bunch of little ones in between. Why am I not surprised? But if that was the case, then I shouldn’t have to “work” anymore until that one was ready for me.
“Can I object to that? I mean, if there’s only one more then why don’t you give me that rest starting today and then I can get it over with,” I said reasonably.
Kerstan laughed as he reached for his glass of blood red wine. He took a hearty drink before setting it down and looking at me with his evil eyes.
“You misunderstand, Lieve. You will not be going out to work until it’s time. You’re now going to be mine to use until the final encounter is set,” he replied.
“Y...yours?” I stammered in shock.
A somewhat sinister smile crossed his lips as he took another drink from his wine glass. He held my gaze as he set his glass down and nodded. Then he turned his attention to the rest of the girls in the room, new and seasoned.
“Does this answer your questions, dames? Do not think that what Lieve must do is something you will all endure. What you will do is work off the debts owed to me and then I will let you leave. But let’s not speak of business anymore; instead let us enjoy the feast that I have planned for you all. The food will arrive shortly. Speak amongst yourselves until then,” he said in a faux pleasant tone.
As the girls quietly started speaking amongst themselves, I found the courage inside of me to do something that we were never allowed to do without permission. I got to my feet and I walked down the length of the table with my chair, and sat it down next to Kerstan. I folded my hands in my lap and thought carefully about the words that were going to come out of my mouth. And about the gleaming blade of the sharp knife that sat by the plate at his setting.
“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked quietly. “It seems like this is more of a personal vendetta than a debt.”
“Would you like some wine?” he asked, holding out an empty glass. I watched as one of the older grandmotherly women (who I assumed to have been indebted for quite some time now) came forward and filled the glass with red wine.
He handed me the glass and I set it down, my eyes lingering on the knife for a moment. If I kill him, I’ll be stuck here forever. I know it, I thought tearing my eyes away and looking at him.
“I never did much care for blonde hair,” he said absently as he took a hand full of my hair gently in his hand. “Would you mind terribly changing it for me?”
“Kerstan,” I said pulling my hair out of his hand, “Just let me do the final fuck. Please. I want to go home.”
“Reduced to begging, are you? I thought you were stronger than that, Lieve. I thought you had more will than becoming a beggar,” he replied with a smirk. “But to answer your request, my answer is neen. This is not something you can bargain your way out of. You will wait until the appropriate moment and in the meantime, you will be my seksspeeltje. Understand?”
I blinked back bitter tears. I had no idea what the fuck that meant, but I sure as hell understood the word “neen.” He had yelled it enough times in frustration with some of the girls that used to be here.
“I’m going to my room. I’m getting dressed and I’m going back out to the gardens. I will be smoking and actually, I’ll be needing a pack soon. If you want me to be your seksspeeltje then I expect some perks. I can tell that there will be no way out of this than to go with the flow. So allow me some small comforts,” I said getting to my feet.
Kerstan cleared his throat and drank the rest of his wine as a small group of elderly women came out with trays of food. I eyed the small feast hungrily as they placed tray after tray down, uncovering it and revealing all of the delicious meats, fruits, and various gravies.
I had to put a hand firmly on my stomach to silence the low grumble that escaped. Here I was trying to be a big bitch and my insides were giving me away.
“I want my name back. I want to be called Amity in this house since I no longer have to go out and fuck for you. Also, I want Betje back. Those are my terms,” I said putting my hands on my hips.
Kerstan finished putting a couple of thick slices of roast pork on his plate, before setting down his fork and knife. He wiped his mouth with his napkin and got to his feet.
Whatever happens, don’t be scared, I told myself, trying to give him a level stare.
“Come with me,” he said, taking me by the elbow and half dragging me out of the massive dining room.