My chest burned. I wasn’t crazy about the thought of Katja having to take the pill because Kova couldn’t control himself around her. I wanted him like that only for me.
“What does it look like?”
“It is a little white pill. I will put it to the side with a bottle of Aloe water in front of it.”
My heart shifted, that unknown feeling coming back. Kova’s eyes were on mine as he tugged my hair loose, the thick waves falling down my back. He fluffed it up, pulling a few strands over my shoulder to rest on my chest.
“Your hair is always up. I liked seeing it down today,” he admitted somberly. “You looked beautiful when I saw you in my office. I had no intention of doing anything more with you, or that ridiculous deal I had you make, but when I saw you, everything changed.”
“I didn’t purposely pick that dress out, you know that, right?”
Kova smirked, nodding. “We will agree to disagree on that.”
I gave him a playful stern glare. His smile shifted, looking more serious, staring into my eyes with such depth I felt he could see right into my deepest thoughts. “You are different than the others.”
I rolled my eyes. “Most clichéd line ever, Kova.”
He gripped me a little tighter. “Think what you want, but no matter what I do and say, I find myself drawn to you explicitly. Like a moth to a flame.”
My brows lifted.
His nose grazed my cheek sweetly. “It is true, think about it. I am the moth, you are the flame. It is an irresistible attraction that will end in total destruction.”
How morbid. “Do you think the moth knows that it’s being lured?”
Kova sat quietly, looking at my chest that was parallel to his face. Only he didn’t stare with desire, he looked lost in thought, maybe wondering if the moth knew any better. I had on a razorback shirt three times too large that hung loosely on my arms, showing a little skin. The back of his finger came up and unhurriedly grazed the side of my round breast. My nipples puckered in return, showing through the shirt.
“Desire can be deadly. Temptation can be toxic. But do I think it knows it is being lured? No,” he said quietly, running his finger in circles on my flesh.
“Like right now, I am tempted to push this thin material aside and press my lips to your tender skin. But I know if I get too close, get a taste of you again,” he winked, and I smiled at the devious glint in his eyes, “then I will not be able to stop. I will want more until it is too late to stop. But if I do, do it,” he pushed the arm hole over my breast, the back of his finger purposely dusting over my rosy nipple, “it does not mean I have to do anything, but the lust, the hunger, the want, it is all there, pulling with a force so powerful that an ending is not even a thought. It is pure desire.”
My fingers continued to thread his hair as he became hard beneath me. His tongue slipped out and licked his bottom lip before he leaned in and delicately flattened it around my nipple. My heart raced, coming alive as he lapped and pulled on my sensitive skin. My back arched seductively as I pressed the back of his head to me. He was taking his time, flicking his tongue over the bud then running it in circles. A moan rolled off my lips and he pulled back with a pop. Looking down through my heavy lids, my nipple was hard and pointed as he stared at it like he wanted to devour me. He covered me back up, and met my gaze.
“You are the bright light that beckons me…And I am okay with it. Thing is, I realized I like talking to you, Adrianna. I like being around you. I have never told any other gymnast or friends about my mother and her secret, only Katja. It feels natural with you. I forget you are only sixteen. You are a fighter, and no matter how much you get pushed down, no matter what you have against you, you do what you have to do and you do not complain. You are strong and resilient. You are relentless, and I find that fucking attractive as hell. It is a turn on, but it is also why I treat you the way I do.”
“It’s why you’ve been so hot and cold with me.”
He nodded. “At first, it was the chase, the sneaking around that all builds it up. As a coach, I know better. There are classes we have to take to be aware of these things—at the end of the day, you are still a minor. But what they do not teach us is it is not always the coach who seduces the athlete. That sometimes, maybe sometimes, it is the other way around.”
“You think I seduced you,” I stated plainly. “Because at fifteen I knew what I was doing with an older man, so I set out to get you.”
He shook his head, his forehead creased with lines. “I think a lot of it has to do with attraction more than anything. Attraction is the root of all evil, not money like some say. It can be everything you have ever imagined and destroy everything at the same time. All relationships begin with attraction that leads to some form of lust. It is a natural reaction that comes from the body. Do I think that you purposely seduced me?” He chuckled with a small smile. “Not exactly.” Brushing a lock of hair behind my ear, he said, “The fire that burns inside of you to be better, to prove others wrong about you, is dangerous, and that is attraction in itself. It is a hell of an attraction. We will both be our ruin if we do not stop while we are ahead.”
He paused and looked deeply in my eyes once again. The guilt woven through his face was strong and it froze me. The knot that formed in my stomach and matched with his features told me his next words would cause damage. A pang in my chest spread through my whole body. My face fell, my heart breaking. “Did I do something wrong?” The tears behind my eyes were steadily climbing.
“You did everything right, but you know as much as I do this has to come to an end. It cannot keep going on. No more sk
ating around the edges. No more chasing. It is not worth losing everything over.”
Biting my bottom lip, I studied my fingers as they glided across Kova’s collarbone. His words weren’t malicious, but they cut deep and I wanted to cry.
“You’re right,” I agreed with a shaky voice.
“We can never admit anything to anyone, you know this, right?”
Nodding, I said, “I’d never tell anyone.”
“But even if anyone suspects it, says that they found out, do not fall for the trap.” My brows angled toward each other and he continued. “I will never speak a word of this to anyone, no matter what anyone says. And you cannot either.”