Balance (Off Balance 1)

I tilted my head to the side. “About what?”

“That this was a mammoth mistake. I was unfaithful and I hurt you in the process. I failed both you and Katja, and for that, I could not be sorry enough.”

I averted my eyes so he couldn’t see the pain he caused. “There’s a question I want to ask you, and I hope you will answer it.” His forehead cinched together. I wasn’t sure where this question came from or why I was asking it, but I had to know. Maybe it was the pain relievers talking again.

“Was I really the only gymnast you’ve ever been with? Or were there others? Please be honest with me.”

My heart thumped wildly against my chest waiting for his answer. “Ria, I am a lot of things, but I am not a pedophile. I do not yearn for young girls,” he said with disgust. “In fact, I find it repulsive. There has never been another before you, though not for lack of trying on their part. There were some aggressive ones, but I never took it past the professional level.”

“So you were never with Reagan?”

He pulled back in horror. “Reagan? Never. Where would you get that idea?”

I shook my head, feeling like an idiot for even asking now. “Just some things she said to me.”

“Reagan, while she is an incredible gymnast, lacks the drive and willpower you have. There has never been more than a coach/athlete relationship with her, or anyone else. I can promise you that.”

Reaching a hand into his pocket, he pulled out a little box. Flipping it over, my heart sank as I read the front of it. I shook my head, a sad laugh escaped me.

Kova and his stupid little, white fucking pill.

“We’ve been pretty stupid, haven’t we?”

He huffed at my understatement and handed the box to me. “Me more so than you. I knew better”

Opening it up, I p

opped out the morning after tablet. I stared at the pill and hesitated. I had to decide whether I should just ignore what the doctor recommended and deal with the repercussions later, or hand the box to Kova and explain why I can’t take it and how I’d had a pregnancy test already.

I glanced Kova’s way. The last thing I needed was a baby or for him to go to jail. I reached for the bottle of water I left on the coffee table earlier. Popping the tablet into my mouth, I swallowed it without dwelling on the situation further. His shoulders relaxed visibly but then something dawned on me. He was more worried about me being pregnant than my well-being. Luckily for him, I didn’t have the energy to confront him.

“Problem solved,” I said dejectedly.

Standing up, I went to step past Kova, but he placed a hand on my thigh and stopped me. With him sitting on the couch and his height, we were eye level with each other. Turning toward him, I looked into his tempestuous gaze. His hand was high on the back of my leg, cupping the crease of my thigh and butt. His fingers moved in little circles, causing a warmth of heat to course through me. My nipples hardened. I didn’t move, I couldn’t, as his hand skimmed over my ass and up my back ever so slowly. Goose bumps coated my skin. He placed his other hand on my body and my breath caught in my throat as he pulled me closer. After what he said, I was confused by his actions.

“Kova?” I whispered.

He sat up higher. “I do not know what it is about you, but I have the hardest time keeping my hands to myself when it is just you and me. You understand me as I understand you. We have the same drive.”

A pained look resonated on his face. He muttered in Russian as his hands roamed my body. Despite the pain he caused me a few days ago, my body came alive when he touched me.

“What are you doing?”

“Memorizing you with my touch.” Kova shuffled me closer between his legs, and I could smell the faint scent of vodka on his lips.

My heart hammered against my chest. This man was so confusing. His words contradicted his actions on a daily basis. But one thing I knew for sure, there was no denying what he felt for me. The look in his eyes as his hands caressed my back, pulling me closer, solidified his feelings. My shirt lifted, baring my back and stomach. His palms grazed my nipples and my back bowed in response. His head dipped to the side, and a breath caught in my throat.

The way he looked at me broke my heart. He was struggling, and what he said earlier was in fact true. After everything, was Kova going to kiss me? I swallowed hard. I wouldn’t refuse him if he did. I didn’t think there would ever come a time I could refuse anything he offered.

“Malysh, I need one last kiss.”

He was saying goodbye.

With a small nod, I licked my lips and wound my arms around his neck. Leaning in, my chest pressed to his, my nipples hard. Kova’s strong arms wrapped around my lower back, crushing me to him. I loved how strong he was, how he held me and made me feel safe. Our lips grazed each other’s, different than any other time. He was gentle and slow, and took his time as he nibbled on my lips.

I took this moment for what it was—he was using his actions to display the things he couldn’t say.

When our tongues touched, it wasn’t rushed or wild for once. It was deliberate and provocative. My body was a blaze of heat, desire hitting me hard. Our tongues caressed one another’s, tangling around and holding on, in the most intense kiss we’d had yet. Wet, warm, and passionate.