Balance (Off Balance 1)

My fingers weaved through his hair as I put everything into the kiss, just as he did. I knew after tonight, it was over completely and my heart ached. I had let myself fall completely for someone I could never have.

Kova’s hands skimmed up my ribs, his fingers splaying out wide and palming my breasts. I moaned into his mouth, pressing harder into him and devouring him. My body ached even more, but this time for release and nothing more. His kiss made me forget every ounce of pain and replaced it with pleasure.

“I love how responsive you are to my touch,” he whispered against my lips, shifting to the edge of the couch. His erection grazed my thigh and I leaned into him as his tongue collided with mine, the same time his forefinger and thumb found my nipple and pinched. A little purr escaped my lips.

Kova’s strong hands landed on my hips. His fingers trembled against me as his tongue found my heated skin. My head fell back, I wanted to be the one who eased the pain for him, to give him what he wanted.

The sad reality of the story was I would never be that girl.

And he would never be that man.

His thumbs dug into the crease between my hips and thighs while his long fingers scooped under my ass. He stood and hoisted me up, one arm wound securely around my back, his other hand tangled in my long hair, holding me to him, like he feared I would pull away. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. There was no possible way I’d be able to now. I was his for the taking.

I wrapped my nimble legs around his waist. My emotions were climbing and for some reason, tears prickled my eyes. I didn’t want this to be over between us, the fire was too wild to contain.

“You can’t do this to me and then leave, Kova,” I whispered against his lips. “Either stop altogether, or don’t stop at all. It’s not fair.”

I pressed my lips to his, pouring my heart out through my kiss. This fucked up relationship between us was against all morals. He knew it, I knew it, and we didn’t care.

Kova pulled back and pressed his forehead to mine. “I need to go.” I nodded, agreeing with him. Kova held me as if it was second nature for me to be in his arms. I never wanted him to let me go, but deep down I knew it was time. We’d carried on this affair long enough, because in the end, I knew that everyone gets caught.

Sliding out of his arms, I stood in front of Kova. He cupped my jaw and angled my head back.

“You are so beautiful it hurts. You hold yourself together even during the toughest times. You are a force to be reckoned with, something no one will see coming.”

“Kova, why are you telling me this?”

He lifted one shoulder and shrugged like he wasn’t sure. “It is just a few of the things I love about you.” He placed a kiss to my forehead and held it for a minute. We inhaled at the same time, and I grabbed his wrists, savoring the last intimate contact we would share.

Kova stepped back and walked to the counter, grabbing his keys and phone. Without another glance, he opened the front door and left, leaving my heart shattered in a million tiny pieces.

Unwrapping my wristbands and tape, I dropped my gear into my bag. I was covered in chalk, tired, and hungry. Just the thought of my bed lulling me to sleep in my quiet condo caused me to move faster. I’d reached past the point of fatigue, I could feel it in my body. Some days I hated being alone, but today I was looking forward to it.

It had taken me a little time to get back in the right mind frame, and I had, but I wasn’t sure I fully let go. Working closely with Kova day in day out, I was constantly reminded of what we shared, the things we did in secret. He’d look at me with heat in his eyes, and my body would flush, but not before he quickly masked it. It was still there for him and the lingering of his touch always gave him away. He was struggling just as much as I was.

Today’s practice had been an awkward one, but awkward doesn’t even begin to describe the past month between Kova and me. I was certain no one noticed the strain between us. We’d been good at keeping things completely platonic. No more late night visits, no indiscretion, nothing reckless. We were never alone together and probably shouldn’t have been from the beginning. I was just a gymnast, and he was just a coach, like it should’ve been. Nothing more.

“All right, team. Once you guys are done, come see me on the floor. We have a few things to go over before the weekend.” Kova addressed us all and then left.

Pulling out my hair tie, I fluffed up my thick, auburn locks that were covered with white streaks of chalk before putting it back into a messy bun. I sat down and removed the sports tape from my toes and feet, my calf, freeing my body from all the adhesive. Therapy proved to make a huge difference. I was stronger, more confident. My new routines were solid and I had Kova and Madeline to thank. They both worked with me and got me where I needed to be. Well, mostly Madeline. Kova had kept his word and hardly coached me.

The qualifying meet was just a couple of short weeks away and every day I was growing more anxious for it. I put everything into gymnastics. I gave it my all. I trained harder, pushed harder, and I never complained. I did what Kova had told me to do—prove myself, make it count.

Taking a seat next to Holly, we all stared up at the coaches and waited. It wasn’t uncommon for him to meet with us, but something wasn’t right. I could feel it in the air. Kova’s eyes dashed around at the group of team girls and boys, but he never made eye contact with me. My stomach knotted, unease swept through me. Something big was coming.

Kova rubbed his hands together, licked his lips and then spoke. “So, we have the holidays coming up, the New Year, and then the Parkettes Invitational. Reagan, Holly, Sarah, and Adrianna are attending. However, after careful deliberation with the other coaches, we have decided to make a few changes.”

An audible gasp surrounded the small group. My heart sank, and my fingers trembled. Somehow, I knew what was coming, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I looked around and knew my facial expression matched the others. We were not expecting this sort of news. Changing the lineup had never happened in my last gym, it was whoever was best for the team would compete, and I had a notion it was the same way here.

Kova cleared his throat, and I noticed he refused to make eye contact with me once again.

“This was not an easy decision, but here at World Cup, we feel that your injury is not something we should test just yet.” Kova finally glanced my way and locked eyes with me, “I am sorry, Adrianna, but we are pulling you out of the meet.”

Silence so thick, it permeated the air. My heartbeat drummed in my ears and my breathing deepened as I stared ahead, astounded at the devastating words I’d just heard. This couldn’t be. Not after how hard I worked for this meet.

“I know this is a shock to you, and you should know this was not an easy decision, but it has been made and it is done.”

No words, I had no words. My heart was in my throat, all the noise faded away. I was rendered speec