"That’s the thing, you already chose."
"Just so you know, I did not pick her," Kova said, his shoulders wilting.
"How do you live with your lies?" Kova tilted his head, his gaze confused. "You know what? Just go. You have no respect for me or your damn wife." I took a few steps until I was in front of him. "We're done. We have to be done. I don’t want you near me, I don’t want you to talk to me. Not unless we're in practice or at a meet. Other than that, there's no reason for me to associate with you."
His face fell, and he took a step toward me. "Adrianna—" My name was a desperate whisper on his lips. "You wanted this, and I gave it to you. Please…"
I shook my head. "I know, and I take full responsibility, but no more. I'm done. Tell me no if there ever is a next time, which there won't be."
Kova propped his hands on his hips and angled his head toward the floor, staring like he was lost and didn't know his way.
"No more," I choked out and reached down to swipe my keys from the floor. "I just can't do it anymore. It's too much for me."
The pinch of his wedding band was a reminder of the emotional pain he’d created, and while I knew I loved him, I equally hated him. But after today I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror without feeling disgusted with myself.
* * *
The U.S. Classic was the biggest competition of my career thus far. I’d be competing against the top elite gymnasts in the country for one of the coveted spots on the national team.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Getting to this point, to this day, wasn’t just taxing on the body, but also on the mind. My nerves were shot, and I’d hardly slept the past couple of nights, but I was containing it. Cool, calm, and collected.
I blew out a shaky breath as Kova rubbed my shoulder.
"Do not be scared."
"I'm not."
I was terrified.
This was it. What I’ve always wanted. My Olympic dream was within reach, and there was no one here to share it with except Kova. None of my teammates had qualified to be here. Not even Madeline came. She’d stayed back with everyone else as they continued business as usual.
I scanned the growing crowd and briefly wondered if my dad had made it. He may not have been to every practice or meet, but he always showed up when it mattered. As for Joy, I wasn’t sure if she’d come with him or not. I hadn’t spoken to her since her drunken revelation. I thought maybe she’d reach out to me, considering she was the only mother I’d ever known and, oddly, I’d even held a sliver of hope that she would. But the more I thought about it, I knew she was the kind of negativity I couldn’t afford right now.
I was next in line for vault and watched a gymnast take a huge double hop on her landing. She had the same vault as I did—the Amanar. While the Amanar was mostly muscle memory, not every gymnast could reach the height required for this skill.
"Opportunity only knocks once. This is your moment to let go of all the bullshit and show the world who you are." Kova stepped in front of me, his eyes lit with a contentment that soothed my flustered nerves. "You are going to come out a champion because this is what you were made for. That is what differentiates the gymnasts who are a dime a dozen. The ones who say they are going to do it, versus the ones who are resilient enough to get the job done." Kova paused, his gaze dropping to the floor before looking back up. "I know I do not say it often, but I am so proud of you. You are extraordinary. All those times when you hesitated, when fear simmered beneath your control, you were still courageous enough to try when others would have given up. You fought. You gave your all. Be proud of yourself, Adrianna. You have achieved massive accomplishments."
Acting on impulse, I jumped into Kova's arms and hugged him tight. It took him a moment to return the hug, but he did it, just a little stiff and unprepared. Not that I was surprised. This was the most contact, verbally and physically, I’d allowed us since the other night in the gym.
I rested my head on his shoulder and squeezed my eyes shut, absorbing his words I didn't know I needed to hear. They rolled off his lips in an inspiring tone and left me feeling self-assured.
An energy to thrive was brewing.
My wings were spreading, ready to coast.
Kova was feeding my soul, fighting off my demons, and he didn't even know it.
"Thank you," I said softly, squeezing him again. "I needed to hear that." He ran his palms in circles on my lower back before he pulled away.
"Go show them what you are made of."
I offered Kova a smile, then walked to the little box at the end of the runway that contained chalk. I slapped some on the bottom of my feet and inner thighs. I blocked out the noise of the crowd and kept my focus on each routine, rotation, and, of course, the scoreboard.
Inhaling a deep breath, I shifted on my feet and visualized the vault I was about to perform, like I'd done many times before. My eyes shifted to Kova for any last-minute directions, but all he did was smile. I exhaled, and stepped behind the white line.
It was go time.
Raising my arms so they were extended in front of me, I stood on my tiptoes and stepped into my run, swinging my arms back for momentum.