She blinked slowly. “What? Like in love?”
I nodded slowly.
“First, does he know you exist?”
She asked it in a girlfriend way. The way where you just knew each other so well and there was nothing mean or petty, whatever question you threw at each other. It was all about honesty.
“I met a boy—no, a man.” It seemed ridiculous to call Cameron a boy. “And we kissed. Twice. No, three times.”
She sat up quickly, gawking at me. “Bitch, what? Tell me I was in a coma and that’s why I never heard of this before. What’s going on?”
“Calm your tits. I just met him.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment. I knew she was thinking about it. And then, “Was that why you started pulling away from me?” she asked quietly. “I knew something was up. You usually don’t text or ask to hang out with me when you’re going through something.”
“Do I really do that?”
She nodded.
“I’m sorry, Tal.”
“S’okay. I know you’re super strong. And I know I’m…not as strong as you are. But I want you to know that you can still talk to me, and I’ll try my best to listen and be there for you. Aw, Kar, what’s wrong?”
I wasn’t crying, but my throat felt tight. I sat up, rubbing my neck with my hands. “A week and four days. That’s how long he’s been gone.”
“What? Girl, you scared him off already?”
I chucked a piece of mushroom at her as a self-deprecating laugh trickled out. “Maybe I did. I think I did, just as I do with everyone around me.” The last part I said under my breath, not meaning to say it, but she heard.
“Aw, girl, that’s not true.” Now she looked mad. “You take care of the people you keep close to you. You make them smile and cheer them up just by being near you. It’s your aura. It’s so strong people can’t help but want to be around you.”
She shifted so she was facing me. “It’s like everyone is worried about what other people say about them,” she continued. “But not you. You just do you, because you know what’s important. You say what you think or feel regardless of what other people will say, and you go for the things you want. Without apologies. Without giving a damn about other people’s expectations…unlike me. And you know what? People feel that, and they’re drawn to it because it’s fearless. And it’s so freaking cool. Do you want me to continue kissing your ass with the truth?”
She laughed when I threw myself at her and hugged her.
“Now talk to me and tell me everything.”
And so I did. She was just quiet, listening without interruption. Her face showed her reactions though, and I laughed at some of them. Some parts I left out, needing to keep them to myself. I’d always been that way, even when I was a kid, leaving details out, not revealing enough, but I thought I had gotten better.
“So,” she said after I finished. “Python?”
I shook my head.
“Oh.” She frowned. “Garter snake?”
“Far from it.”
“Wild boar? Starfish? Crocodile? Tell me! I’m running out of animals!”
I bit my lip.
“Tell me,” she said breathily.
“Anaconda.”
We both looked at each other for a moment, eyes shining with suppressed laughter. And then we started giggling like little girls.
“Ayayay!” She wiped her eyes. “For real though?”