He got his knee on the floor and examined my hair.
“Is it bad?” I asked him.
“No. It’s just a little tangled. I’ve seen worse. I’ll have you back in action in a minute. I’ll just unwrap a few of these little hairs…. Actually, we’ve got more than a few hairs involved in this. Well, okay, we’re talking about major hair involvement. Jesus, how did you do this? All right, don’t panic.”
“I’m not panicked.”
“That’s good. No reason for both of us to be panicked. Maybe if I just…”
“Yow! You’re pulling my hair out.”
“I wish it was that simple.”
I rolled my eyes up and saw a cop looking down, in the window at me.
“Excuse me,” he said. “You’re going to have to leave.”
“Back off,” Hooker said. “I’m having a problem here.”
The cop smiled at me. “Jeez, lady, you must have needed it real bad to end up on your back in a little car like this.”
“It was my boyish charm,” Hooker said.
“Gets them every time,” the cop said.
“I just…slipped,” I said.
A second cop arrived and looked down at me. “What’s the delay?”
“He was diddlin’ her, and she slipped, and she got her hair caught in the door handle.”
“He was not diddling me!” Unfortunately.
Hooker looked up at them. “I don’t suppose either of you guys would have scissors on you?”
“Scissors?” I said, my voice up an octave. “No! No cutting.”
“I got a knife,” the first cop said. “You want a knife?”
“No!” I said.
“Yeah,” Hooker said.
I narrowed my eyes at Hooker. “You touch a single hair with that knife, and I’ll make sure you sing soprano for the rest of your life.”
“Wow, she’s scary,” the first cop said to Hooker. “You might want to think about this relationship.”
“Are you kidding?” Hooker said. “Look how cute she is with her hair all wrapped around the door handle. Well, maybe not with the hair wrapped around the door handle…but usually.”
“All I know is, you gotta get out of here. This is a public alley. Hey, are you Sam Hooker?”
Oh great.
“Yep, that’s me,” Hooker said. “In the flesh.”
“I saw you win at Daytona. That was the best day of my life.”
“Hello,” I said. “Remember me? How about someone untangling my goddamn hair!”